Mythos Series: Prometheus

A series based upon mythology with a modern narrative. Any thoughts and suggestions welcome.

Titan craftsman,
Your zealous brother has emptied the jar
Of all gifts and now, you must look elsewhere.
He, who is to be master of all beasts, stands upright,
Beholds heaven and beseeches one question,
“Is this me?”

Perhaps, you can scratch the answer from your head, Titan,
Note your handiwork is:
Unclawed, unwinged, unfanged, unshelled, unfinned, unswift,
Unfit to do homage to those that commissioned him.
Best to scrap it and throw him into the rubbish bin.

Though she nearly dropped her spear in mirth, even Minerva
Needs her due of supplicants and deigns to whisper
Wisdom into Prometheus’ whorled ear.
Each creature is at the mercy of the elements,
So why not make one a friend of man?

Wielding his flaming bauble, the creatures subdued,
The earth’s bones bend to his will and till her bounty,
And  his embarrassing nakedness warmed to a flush red,
Man is made quite competent to preserve his own existence,
Offers tributes of cooked meats to Mt. Olympus.

If only you’d left well enough alone, dear Prometheus,
And not coddled your little masterpiece
Into laying strips of fat under the prime meat,
Incurring Jupiter’s already impetuous wrath.
Playing man’s advocate is an ill luck thing.

Futile, your strength against the chains,
Stretched as a canvas of agony on Mt. Caucasus
Where a vulture lunches on you liver renewed
Eternally, an ingenious a punishment as your benevolence.
Does something other gnaw your tender heart as well?

Reviews

[Moineau]

I enjoy modern writing that draws upon ancient myths but this piece offers the reader nothing new. Rather than picking this up I would be better of revisiting Blake or Shelly. You are ambitious and skillful and I cannot fault a young writer for where she is at in her development but I do think you could write with less pretension and more creativity. Beyond that I think you will fare quite well as a writer once you find your own voice.

[San Herman Lopez a.k.a...]

This is a very creative piece of work... I really enjoyed it. I think you could expand this further.

[Brett Campaigne]

I think Sparrow is actually a bit hasty not to see that although it has the tone of Blake there are nuances in the lines which makes it alittle different... I think the nostalgic twang is justified in where the allegory is taken.