Stroke by stroke

I throw up words

Please tell me where to make the next turn.
I'm too irresponsible to make the decisions.
Please, I ask of you, please take charge.
Be the boss,
be the man,
be the master.
I'll follow your instructions because I never know how to do it myself. I'm small, I'm fragile, I'm a little girl who will only succumb to you and your powerful hand. You know that I can't handle myself. Oh, you know everything. Just please, let me tell you...
Let me show you...
Everything.

From the inside out, I'm falling apart.
The pieces are crumbling as you don't even try to put me back together. I fall bewteen your fingers like sand and dust, completely disintegrating. You won't miss me, will you? Just take me where they all go to die, where they all go to heal, where they all go to be given life.
So you sit on the sidewalk
The pavement's cracks are filled with the remnants of me. Of my being. You never knew how good death could taste until you had my ashes on your tongue. Until you felt the chalky leftovers of flesh and bone struggle down your dry throat. I miss you. I miss you.
I miss you.

Please, just do something.
I gave you opportunity.
I gave you the chance.
I gave you the time.
I gave you the rhythm.
The rhythm of my heart.

But you never paid me back