Unseen

I was feeling rather cynical that day...

The light dissolves

A knife slices the air

Sharp enough to cut through

All the defenses

Of the human mind

There are no screams

Scuffling feet

Something hits the ground

With a metallic twang

Bittersweet aroma lingers

Blood in the dense darkness

Taste of iron and fear

A shout is muffled in my throat

And I open my eyes

And see people laughing, talking

Blinding light

Where has that dark world gone?

And I look around and see

Forced laughter, fake smiles

And realize

I never left

Reviews

[The Chimera]

This poem blew me away. My favorite lines are "A knife slices the air Sharp enough to cut through All the defenses of the human mind" What a beautiful way to describe fear. I can't think of anything to add or change, this is the kind of poem I could imagine myself keeping around to read again and again so I can see and feel what this poem makes me feel.

[Babbette Francis]

I can't tell you how much your poem sounds like my past.... WOW!!
I'm speechless. Wow, If you don't mind, I added a poem earlier today that you in may be interested in, "Freak Show." It was written from memory, but the feelings behind it never left. It was hard to face that realization.

This piece I've gotta keep in faves!

[sorentense]

Wow, that's one creepy poem.

I love this, it sends a shudder up my spine, and you have a wonderful turn of phrase. Especially love the part about never having left. Your open poetry is still comfortable to read and has a poetic feel.

[Hope]

I love the part where it says, "forced laughter, fake smiles/And realize/I never left"
Darkness is hiding and starts to consume us if we are not always on our guard
Great write!!

[Guardian]

I loved it. It was very poweful, cynicall but straight and to the point. It had a clear and efficient ending and the imagery was incredible. I loved the ending. It was very powerful and very eloquently stated. The flow kept it moving and had me reading faster and faster down the page.

[JudyC]

I especially like the last four lines: a pointed conclusion! Your images involve all the reader's senses, and the rhythm keeps the poem moving forward. I could empathize with your cynical mood. Good job!

[Syke]

Very cynical, I like it. It's laughing not laoughing by the way. Otherwise very good.