After living so selfishly in life, what does that accomplish in the end?
In the World You are important.
To us, people are many Yet, mostly people are few. The universe is Huge. From dust to dirt to ants to grass, From babies to teens to adults Becoming the past. To trees and canyons and glass in the sky, Does the world stop living When the human race dies?
It's interesting to think, Plants and Animals and Things, Keep on breathing Even without human beings. We pollute, adopt pets, donate shoes. We murder, give birth, and stitch wounds.
It's interesting to think, Plants and Animals and Things, Keep us breathing. .the human beings.
An interesting concept...sort of a circle of life theme going on here. It is true that we are all inner-connected in some way; all sharing some invisible thread with the world around us. As we breathe, so do the trees, the animals, etc.; as we eat, so do the plants drink the sun and the earth drinks the water. It's almost mind boggling to think upon the enormity of this ecosystem.
Technically, I liked the poem...it flowed well pretty much throughout. The only part that didn't seem to flow as well were the two lines at the end of the first stanza...I understand you're trying to rhyme, so if you opt to leave those two lines in a couplet format, i would suggest shortening them up a little bit... "We pollute, adopt pets, donate shoes./We murder, give birth and stitch wounds." Something like that.
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much! That really does sound better!
11 Years Ago
No problem...I do think it fixes up the flow :) Love the concept!
another great write! I love it!
the rhythm was great and it flowed well
I am much enjoying your words
keep up the good work
very enjoyable and so very true
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
You are wonderful! Thank you so much for every detail of your reviews.
I believe that we humans are just animals, who like all the rest of living things on this planet have a place and a reason for existing. If the grand tapestry of life pushes humanity out of the picture... then the world goes on with out mankind. Yet, I also believe that it is the beauty and amazing things around us that inspire us, humanity, to continue striving towards better and more beautiful and peaceful things. Or at least I would hope that's what is happening. =)
Great Ink that makes one think.
Aaron
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you so very much for your review and wonderfully insitefull comments.! :) I try to upload anyt.. read moreThank you so very much for your review and wonderfully insitefull comments.! :) I try to upload anything I can and sometimes it's hard disappointing to upload stuff but not get any feedback, so I really appreciate it when I do get reviews of any kind :)
I dream of publishing a book of my poems one day. Until then; i'll be riding horses, loving on my dogs, writing poems, painting antlers, and livin' life for Christ.
Consider this collection of my w.. more..