My Eulogy...My Youth's Eulogy, that is

We had to write and then read a speech word-for-word in you guessed it...a speech class. Here's my eulogy...for my youth. sigh.

          We are gathered here today to recognize the not so quiet passing of my youth as I tragically turned the big 4 0 on April 9^th of this very year.  The one thing that has helped me through this time of sorrow is the fact that one day each of you will be 40.  I’ve been told that it’s not the age, it’s the attitude.   I can’t stop myself from reminiscing about my youth in its prime…it’s 18^th year, 1985. Life was simple. I spent many nights in front of the one television in the house and watched my prime time favorites…The Cosby Show, Family Ties, and Who’s the Boss…All the while waiting for someone to call me on our one telephone.  I miss those days. Today, I live in a house with three cell phones, three cordless phones (which are usually dead or lost), five televisions, three computer systems, God only knows how many CD players, Stereos and MP3 players,  and I have not one but  three different email addresses and for some strange reason, even I  have a My Space page. In 1985, Spam was found only in the kitchen, high speed access was an On Ramp to the freeway, and we feared computers would one day rule the world…and they have. Time changes things and people.  Someone asked me what I was like when I was young way back when and I have to say that if my youth were present here today it would be overly confident (at least on the outside), closed minded, and always right.  I believe that some of you here today can relate to my youth’s attitude-- So I want to reveal to you"the young"a secret that the years have taught me about life …when life really gets tough, grab some Ben & Jerry’s and wait it out. Time usually makes things better…like me. Time made me a better person, though, I know that many of you are probably still in shock that I am actually so old but I think you’ll  find comfort in these final thoughts… As long as there is Oil of Olay, Miss Clairol, and Nick at Nite…my youth will live on…at least in my mind and heart.  And if any of you still think 40 is way old, I say to you with my last ounce of youthful abandon--WHATEVER!

Author's Note

The guy that spoke before me did a very smart speech about the legalizing marijuana. It was well researched and thought provoking. Too bad he had on a t-shirt that read "I'm not Mr. Right, but I will do you until he comes along." Repeat after me: What???!!!

Reviews

[Mark]

Two great lines in this piece had me (actually!) Laughing Out Loud, like we used to do before there was "lol": "In 1985, Spam was found only in the kitchen, and high-speed access meant the on-ramp to the freeway...", and, "As long as there is Oil of Olay, Miss Clairol and 'Nick at Nite' , my youth will live on...". I've got thirteen years on you, kid, and though I haven't done the Miss Clairol number (yet...that doesn't include Just For Men, by the way!), I HAVE shaved off that enormous thatch of white hair in the middle of my face; just too obvious a reminder!

[Jana Greene]

Love this! And can so relate.....

[Sunny Lea]

Story takes me back in time and was very entertaining.