1.

We reached the hallway just as they rushed past us, urgently shouting. Someone ran off down the hall we'd just come from.

That's when I saw her face. 

There was a red sheet under her. No, a white sheet. 

A white sheet with a growing red stain.

If the hospital had been silent, everyone would have heard the sharp snap in my brain.

I lunged toward the doors as they pushed her through. The man who lead me there was quicker. He through out his arm and I ran right into it. He pulled me back. I kicked and screamed, but he was strong.

"Shhh, don't worry," he said quietly into my ear, again and again. "They're going to take care of her."

***

Dr. Marcy didn't look hopeful when she came out. "If you give us a number to contact, I can let you in to see her." I was a dream, gliding across the floor, dropping my phone into her waiting hand, pushing the door open unsteady fingers.

Everything moved so slowly; my legs felt heavy. I wasn't walking, I was treading ice water. She was on shore and I could barely swim. 

When I reached her, light-years later, I desperately clutched her hand in both of mine. 

She looked up at me, a faint smile on her lips. I wanted to smile back, but instead tears poured. I wanted to tell her everything would be okay. I wanted to let go of her hand to run back out and tell Dr, Marcy to come back in and perform some miracle operation. 

Instead, I blinked stupidly at the tears in my eyes, tears that knew what was coming next long before I was willing to accept it. I couldn't keep treading the water, I was drowning.

I didn't tell her I loved her. I didn't tell her how much she meant to me. I didn't hug her one last time. I didn't do anything that you're supposed to do when the person who means the most is dying.

It took all my strength to choke through the sobs. "Don't leave me, Nettie."

I almost didn't hear her reply. I was really drowning now. Her voice floated up to me. Up?

No, wait, I was supposed to drown. Not her. Why wasn't I the one sinking down? Why wasn't she clawing desperately at any last chance to reach the surface? Were we really in the water? Is that why her voice was so hard to hear? The room was silent, but waves were crashing over me and I barely heard my best friend whisper, "I won't, I promise."

***

"There is never an easy way to talk about the deceased. Especially in situations like these. Death isn't easy. However, dear friends, it is part of life."

Is it possible for your eardrums to turn off? At that point, I would have loved a little on/off switch for my ears. The minister's blunt words made me sick to my stomach. Death isn't easy. 

Life isn't a cup of tea either, mister minister. 

I cried in my sister's arms. Cried and silently counted whenever his words got to be too much. How could he speak so calmly of death?

 ***

"Emiline, it's been a week," Bianca told me. "You've got to get out of bed sometime."

One week. One hundred sixty-fours hours. Ten thousand and eighty minutes. 

Six hundred four thousand, eight hundred seconds.

Seconds are so short, even when you think of them in large quantities, they seem so small.

So why did it feel so much longer?

Reviews

[Eleanor A. Bennett]

"At first my brain would only let me see a blur of white gloves and red stains.

"She's lost a lot of blood."

There was a red sheet under her. No, a white sheet. A white sheet with a growing red stain.

Something clicked in my brain. Really, it was more like a sharp snap."

This is an excellent opening. It draws your reader in immediately. The descriptions are vivid and I thoroughly enjoy your usage of color to enhance the imagery.

"I hadn't realized that I was running. Or that my hands were gripped around the metal bars of the gurney, pushing her down the hall with the medical professionals, all of whom were shouting. Instructions? Maybe. I heard a "Get out of the way!" or two, but all of their voices were just audio mashed potatoes being force fed to my eardrums."

Perfect. So much description. I can feel that I am with her as she is racing down the hall. Only thing? Make sure you use commas! "I heard a(,) "Get out of the way!" or two..."

"Then, out of no where, I wasn't running anymore. A dark veil fell over my eyes, then over my brain, and lastly my heart.

"There is never an easy way to talk about the deceased. Especially in situations like these. Death isn't easy. However, dear friends, it is part of life.""

Work on this transition. One moment we're in the hospital, and the next we're at a funeral. Please ease the transition. Make she's been shaken out of her thoughts? Or a friend is nudging her to pay attention?

"Is it possible for your eardrums to turn off? At that point, I would have loved a little on/off switch for my ears. The minister's blunt words made me sick to my stomach. Death isn't easy. Ha! Life isn't a cup of tea either, mister minister. He was the glass half full high priest of Lynette's mother's congregation. It's natural. No, sir, not this time. It took a lot of will power to not shout at him for being so wrong. Instead, I just kept crying in my sister's arms. Crying and silently counting whenever his words got to be too much."

Now, I am a bit confused. Who died? It hasn't been mentioned once and I am a very attentive reader.

"Emiline, it's been a week."

Thank you for the time drop.

"...married and carried the spawn of Punctuality, I also didn't have a choice." It sounds like she married her own child...um. Rephrase, please?