For Kristin

For a friend who demanded I write her a poem. Yo, when a woman wants you to do something, you do it, or you're going to wake up the next morning wondering why exactly you're seeing your head detached from your body. MAKE WOMEN HAPPY!!! Seriously, a woman'

This poem is for a girl

It is my attempt to be funny

Maybe I'll even try to be sweet

Hey look, there's a bunny

 

This bunny reminds me of her

Petite and cuddly and cute

Wait... how the hell would I know that?

I guess I say this without questionable repute

 

She is a sweet heart

And a great girl to talk to

She is as pwetty as an angel

And reminds me of the color blue

 

A pretty color like the sky

A pretty place to imagine pretty things

Am I using the word "pretty" alot?

Agh, strangle my larynx with a bundle of strings

 

But it's true when I tell you

She deserves only the sweetest words

Unfortunately, the sweetest words don't exist

So she has to settle for something written by nerds

 

I am going to give her this poem now

Hopefully she will like it

It would seriously suck if she didn't

Many long hours writing this, did I commit

 

(yes, an awkward stanza. Get off my back!)

 

I just want her to smile

This poem isn't a work of art

But I want her believe what I say

Because my words are from my heart