all i want to be is your little girl

sick of not being good enough

you won't care if I died right now

you won't realize I'm gone

You don't see I try

You don't care about the pain

 

Each night I spend trying to make you proud

nobody sees it

everythings wrong

I try my best

it's never enough

 

I don't know why I care

Why I still love you through it all

All I want to be is your little girl

Author's Note

this piece is more for me than my readers, but still I think the best writing comes out of hurt

Reviews

[Keith LaFountaine]

The best writing, in my opinion, is when the story comes from the heart. Whether that be pain or happiness, nothing can beat the truth of real feelings. You certainly captured the emotions in this poem very well. A few GUM errors, but nothing that detracted from the poem itself. Great work.

[Adri Moolman]

thanks

[Baby Ricochet]

Short and to the point. I like the way the lines are structured to give it punch. Great Job

[Adri Moolman]

thank you

[stars are far]

this is the first peice i read for you ...but its great ..i can relate to it ,,an i think that i passed through same time..but now i reaized no one is worth a tear ..and if a guy made you once cry ..,then he ins't yours .. because if he really loves you,.he wont make you beg for his love,, so yeah ... well done :)

[Adri Moolman]

thank you... and it's true he's not worth it if he treats you badly, but its another story when its about family

[stars are far]

oh yes.. hope it all get better soon

[AlexValkyrie]

Some of the best works are the ones that bring tears to ones eyes. I sincerely hope that when you wrote this you were able to feel some of the ache go away. Good job. I look forward to reading more of your writings.

I can honestly say that I understand where you're coming from with this. It may sound selfish but when faced with lack of appreciation like it seems that you've experienced I just ask myself, "Do I make myself proud?" And the answer is always, "Darn right you do Alex."

Keep your head up. And keep writing. :)

[Adri Moolman]

thanks a lot

[Gaurav Walia]

Th pain brings out th best in u sometimes...nicely expressed...

[Adri Moolman]

thank you

[Daniel Hebert]

I love the sheer soul expressed in the poem. It makes it full of flavor and power. It expresses the need of every human being to belong and be loved by someone, and the pain conveyed in the poem makes it that much more interesting and moving.

[Adri Moolman]

thank you

[Simon Welsh]

I can understand the sentiment behind this poem. Love it.

[Adri Moolman]

thank you

[NITHIN PURPLE]

thanks forr sharing this love poem!!

[Adri Moolman]

blocking you now leave me alone this is a writing site not a irritate and hit on girls site

[quinfinn]

i agree that pain is great fodder for poetry and you do justice with your words to that end. this sounds like the hardest part of being part of a family, acceptance and appreciation for your feelings of importance and self worth. well penned.

[Ency Bearis]

I feel your emotion here little girl, a burst of fire from your chest being neglected as I assumed. If this is for your parents this is a good plea. If this is for your soul mate it makes the difference for this is a good thoughts for you want to belong. Thought provoking verses, expressed and well written.

[Adri Moolman]

This is for every single person I love, but who don't see a thing I do to make them proud. Those who find fault in everything....Thanks for the review

[Ency Bearis]

my pleasure