how long is forever

A ghost or imagination

There's birds singing

and the stream is gently flowing

leaves rustle in the wind

and the sun is shining bright

 

An eerie feeling creeps down my spine

leaving me cold

I can't hear any birds anymore

The clouds move in front of the sun

 

 I look around and get up

I have to leave

but something tells me to stay

not to run away

 

I hear the thunder crashing

I know it's time to leave

but I can't make myself move

and I don't know why

 

I look around me

and I see someone

He's not far away

and he looks lost

 

I walk towards him

My heart pounding in my chest

What is he doing here

How did he get here

 

I get closer to him and see his clothes

It can't be

I'm imagining thing

Why is he dressed like a soldier

 

I want to turn around and run

but he heard me

he turns around and looks straight at me

and the corner of his mouth turn upwards into a smile

 

Who are you

I ask

Why are you watching me

How long have you been watching me

 

He comes toward me

and gently carress my cheek

forever my dear

his words sound cold

 

I can't move

I don't know how to look away

Why is there blood on his chest

seeping through his clothes

 

and suddenly he's gone

but I still feel his hand on my face

I can't move

How is he holding me like this

How long is forever

Author's Note

Please review

Reviews

[Alyssa]

I like it its beautiful like a mystery You should write a part two lol

[Stella Armour]

you have a wonderful imagination, build on it .. keep the suspense until the very last line then bring out a surprise ...good poetry bites...

[Adri Moolman]

thank you

[AlexValkyrie]

I was about to say this was really mysterious; and then I saw all the other comments and decided to shoot for originality. You are definitely very talented. This is very well written and enjoyable. Good job. :)

[Adri Moolman]

Thanks sooo much*** hahaha and thx for being original

[Talal Hussain]

Love your writing style...hmmm mysterious indeed

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

A mystery to be decoded... I quite liked the story feel of this one; you could easily turn this into a story and it would be quite effective. I love your use of imagery and the way that you take us from beauty to fear to beauty again. Perhaps it is a lost loved one, perhaps it is the personification of death...we shall never know.

Technically, a few little issues...could do with a quick edit for grammar and spacing (little things). Also, i would try to avoid using contractions as much as possible in your poetry, because it sort of takes things down a notch. Like in the first line "There's birds singing" would be more powerful as "There are birds singing". Unless you're attempting to keep a VERY strict meter, just avoid them. Overall, though, a nice piece that I enjoyed reading.

[Just Kim]

Mysterious indeed, Enjoyed this!

[Adri Moolman]

thank u:)

[non_sane]

This is very good, and mysterious.

[Adri Moolman]

thanks a lot

[whitefang311]

very nice a mysterious stranger who is he how does he know me and why is he watching very nice.

[Adri Moolman]

thank u