I remember

wishing I knew you

I remember when you called me your angel

How you held me when I cried

And loved me even when I didnt love myself

 

I remember the way we laughed together

The way you told me those old stories

How things was back in the good old days

 

I remember how you'd carry me on your shoulders

and tickle me when I came to sit on your lap

and hold me when I didn't feel safe

 

I remember how I woke up the next morning

realizing none of these ever happened

It was all just a dream

and knowing all I know of you is the old photos on the walls with your name on

Author's Note

Wrote this after hearing a lot of stories of my grandad who died before I was born

Reviews

[Lily Finch]

oh its so niceeeee

[Adri Moolman]

thanks

[smilempsn]

No words can fill up the spaces our loved ones leave in our life...
But we can still 'remember' them by all the time they gave to us ...
Very nicely written :)
ThankU for sharing this piece :)

[Adri Moolman]

thanks so much

[Keith LaFountaine]

I can feel the emotion behind your words. Definitely a powerful piece. There were a few GUM issues ('didnt' should be 'didn't'; 'how things was' should be 'how things were') and the second to last line could be re-worded a little better.

Keep up the good work!

[Adri Moolman]

thank u

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

A beautiful idea for a poem. I can still recall sitting with my grandmother, who had a stroke some years back, and just listening to old stories. I would beg her to tell me about things in her childhood over and over again, just because I loved to connect with her and hear her speak.

Technically...a few little grammar issues--line 3 second stanza "was" to "were". Also, the last stanza is slightly muddled. Perhaps:

I remember how I woke up the next morning, realizing
none of these things happened, it was all just a dream-
all I know of you are old photos on the wall with your name

Something to that effect...just pare it down a bit. Overall, a beautiful write.

[Adri Moolman]

thank u

[Will]

Do you want to make me cry? Really beautiful piece, wrought with emotion and power. The idea of a desire for such a relationship as well as the realization of him not actually being there is very interesting, and I liked this one alot.

[Adri Moolman]

thanks sooo much

[Talal Hussain]

A very impressive write...thanks for sharing this :-)

[Adri Moolman]

thanx a lot;)

[whitefang311]

Wow! I am practicly in tears very lovely touching It brout back memories of my Grandad
whom pased away no more then a moth after my grandma he simply lost the will to live.

[Adri Moolman]

Thanks** really wish I knew him