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A Poem by Kira

just a thought process of a talk with someone

" He never loved you! We love you!"

it was a lie i swore it was i hoped to high hell it was a lie the last thread of my hope fell as the words left mama's mouth all the memories i had of you unraveled the ones i replaced with Saturday morning cartoons naps kicking the soccer ball around telling me you loved me all the memories to replace the ones i never knew or wanted to know about ever again the memories of seeing the pain and emptiness of my big sister's eyes the day after you raped her when i was five and i saw it for the first time the look of hate on your face when i broke a glass when i was four the time you locked me up when i couldn't run anymore the rejection on the time i ran from down the steps and hugging you when you came home from work when i was ten the shattering of my shin when you crushed it under you boots that i now have the pounding of my sister's face on the bed frame when i got a b on a spelling quiz the time you took me out to the woods to fish where before things went black all i heard was this family was great until i was born the screaming of my organs as the water you gave me to clean the demons out of me the cold side of the watch i gave you for father's day as it lacerated my cheek the burning taste if tears as i witnessed you hurt the only one i ever felt cared about me on Christmas day with the straightener i got for her the look of shame that crossed your face when i walked into a room when we had company the words of i am not your daughter and all i can say is

" I'm sorry"