Chapter Two

Finally, I see the light. Everything is white and bright. My mom is leaning over me sobbing. Suddenly a sharp pain brings my attention to my arm. There are white sheets over me and the wall right in front of me is made of glass. There's a desk opposite my room with some ladies eating chips. I'm in the hospital. I take a deep breath. There's an old guy tapping on the window in front of the desk, but the ladies go on eating and laughing.

                “Mom?” I whisper. My mother looks up, eyes red and puffy. Tears stain her worn face. She looks older.

                “Alex,” she chokes out. She weeps even harder and buries her face in my paper hospital shirt. “No,” I breathe.

                “Good, you’re up!” says Doctor Fake-A*s-Smile. “How are you feeling, Alex?”

                “Fantastic,” I give him the biggest smile I can muster.

                “Really?” the doctor answers sarcastically, “I’m Doctor D. I’m just going to need to ask you a few questions, Alex.”

                “I’m not here. I’m dead. You’re not here; I’m not here. I’m dead. I’m dead,” I say. How did my plan fail? “What happened?” I finally ask.

                “Your parents came in and saved your life, Alex. You’re alive.”

                “What happened?” I repeat. My mother stares at me, tears leaking from her eyes. She sighs.

                “The belt snapped, Alex. You’re alive,” she says.

                “But the pills…” I argue.

                “We were able to get them out of your system, and we bandaged up your wrist,” Dr. D. explains.

                “This is impossible.”

                “We’re here for you Alex,” my mother sniffles, “You’re going to be okay.”

                Suddenly, I can’t control it. “No! It’s not going to be okay! It never will!” I shout.

                “Alex, calm down,” the doctor says. I fall back to the bed.

                “I want to be dead,” I say, “I need to be.” My voice gets weak and cracks. Not here, I think, not now. I bite my lip.

                “We’re going to have to take him in for three days observation.”

 

Reviews

[Calypso]

I'm so jealous of your ability to write.

[ZeeArsonist]

There is something personal in the way you word things. The dialog, the imagery, its excessive nature. I enjoyed reading all three chapters. If you have not already, you should check out Marya Hornbacher's "Wasted" or "Madness"

[Lunny]

Ha. Interesting. He used three different ways to kill himself and all at once and yet he failed. I hope that you will go back in time and explain why he did that. It kind of reminds me of new sufferings of young W by Plenzdorf. * :)

[Craig2591]

I thought it was a girl at first, too, but I figured it out eventually.

I don't think this is rough, but then, my own writing probably is and I don't realize it. It could probably use a little fine tuning. Nothing that a few rewrites wouldn't take care of. (I often do up to a dozen rewrites on my own writing).

The first chapter certainly is an attention grabber! You've got me wanting more.

I LOVE "Dr. Fake-A*s-Smile"! lol

[Kristin]

Its good. Its very very good. The question now comes to the hows and whys of such an action, and the heartache and tragedy that go along with it. Keep it up doll face.

[SuicidePact.]

this is amazing, I want to read more !

[Meghan Alex]

It's a guy, but I can see why you can assume it's a girl. I'll have to clarify more.

[Xerclipse]

please write more. I can't wait to know why she attempted suicide! its a mystery

[Faith]

She sounds pretty pissed off that they had saved her, like she cannot wait to do it again and not get caught.
You let the character catch up with the powerful opening in Chapter One.
I liked it a lot!
Faith