The thoughts inside my head

   This fire in me, it never dies, its burning forever. Inside my head, inside my chest, its burning, its smoking, its steaming up. And it hurts, thrashing around against my chest, against my ribcage, but its not just that, its the fact that I cant breathe and no matter what i'll never breathe again. Like the feeling of crying, were your throats sore for hours as the tears roll down your face, like that lump in your throat forcing its way up, threatening to make you cry. Once you start you cant stop. Its a drug. Making something thrash and bounce around in your head, against your skull. Too many problems are chasing you, never letting go, and never backing off. It never lets you tell what's wrong, forcing you to put up a wall. blocking out all the bad and painful events in your life.

   Half- stoned and half-alive, the only way you know your alive is the pain. Its become the only thing that's real anymore. you feel like your dreaming, "spaced off to much" they'll say, but your really just reliving your memories. Unable to stop it. It just happens, but you have to be tough, and just live through it like everyone else. They'll kill for that weak spot, like a tiger on the prowl. They kill everything you are and make you hate yourself and doubt yourself. But your still there screaming silently inside yourself.

Author's Note

I'm not suicidal guys I swear.

Reviews

[Priscilla Sayers]

My sweet girl…
My heart tears as I read. You are such a strong beautiful person. You have the Light that Fire that will never burn out Lil' Dove.
My Sweet Little Dove…..
I can only say that I understand, I feel the pain, but I feel your strength rise as you show the world whose Daughter you really are… MINE!

[meganelizabeth23]

[Priscilla Sayers]

Love you Megan, My sweet Little Dove:)

[meganelizabeth23]

(:

[Fernando Dardón]

Ja, ja, dont worrry, Idoont think you're suicidalm it is better to express ourselves.
(Ssorry,this damn celphooone keyboard writes so much letterss at a time)
Indeed I think youre pretty strong, to bear all those difficcult things and go on. Itt takess lots of guts to keeep walking, ccause after so mucch problem, the eeasiest way would be suicidaaaal.
It is just as you say "It just happens, but you have to be tough, and just live through it like everyone else. "
Sometimes we have the answer to our problems youu know? Its jusst that wee are so focused on the problems, that we cant find the solutions. Sometimes is good to stop a little, contempplate something, like a bird singing on the top of a treee, or a butterfly resting over a flower, then we can chill out and meditate our situatuon, think bettern with a better oxygenated brain.
Its like when you givve advvice to someone, even when youre not feeling so good at all. If you can advice others, then you can advice yourself, its just tthat its a little harder cause feelings are betweern reason and advice.
Anyway, i muust congratulate you, for expressing that pain writting. Let your soul flush all that pain, it is no good for it.
Greetings

Fernando :)

[meganelizabeth23]

thank you hun your words are soo comforting to me and don't worry about the phone problem haha :)

[Fernando Dardón]

youre welcome, its good to have you here on WC ;)

[meganelizabeth23]

thanks!!:)