Thinking of Winter

this is a poem i wrote for a writing contest. hope you like it!

I see the snow fall

And I remember

When we used to

Sit and stall

The inevitable

of you leaving

But what hurt most of all was

Knowing you may never come back.

Now I see your name

Upon this wall

With the soldiers

Who died with you

And as I crawl

Into bed tonight,

I will think of winter

And the tears will fall

Just like the snowflakes

Upon this wall.

 

Reviews

[Alexander Z. Anthony]

I like it. Very well put together. I believe this truly captures the esscene of going off to war, of leaving someone behind, of never coming back. It is a mix of good memories and hard times. I didn't see the end coming, but in a way, sad as it was, I liked it.
Kudos
-Azza

[Mey]

I love this poem; it's got depth and meaning to it that most poems lack.
The flow is smooth and soft, leading up to a conclusion that suites the poem. The feel and tone really help to give the poem what it needs, that shape that makes the poem into more than a collection of words and lines and whispers a soft life into it. Great work.

[Marlena]

I had a friend in middle school whose older brothers had to go to war. We all had to write cards for them and the rest of the troops, and the look on her face when she announced he had officially been shipped off was a mix of pain, fear and pride. I think you captured all of that in here, 100/100.

[SilentDreamer]

So sad but good flow. Great job. :D