Chapter 1 (RR)

     "Rapunzel!!! Let down your hair!!!!" Rapunzel hurried to the window and let all 114 feet of her loose, dark blonde curls tumble down to the ground below. She felt tension, then a quick tug and began pulling her hair back into the room. When she was almost to the end, the tension went away as a small, frail old woman started to climb through the window. Rapunzel hurried to take the basket of berries and nuts she was holding and put it on the floor, then took her hand and helped pull her into the room, where the old woman stood breathing hard with her hand on the stone window sill for balance.

     "Here, Mother, sit down." Rapunzel took the old woman's hand again and led her to the nearest chair, waiting until she sat to let go of her hand.

     "Thank you, dear," her mother said, still out of breath.
     "Just rest a while, I'll get you something to drink," Rapunzel said, already turning to the stairs so that her mother wouldn't have time to claim she didn't need it. The dear old woman refused to admit that she was too old to handle something, though she was well over 90 years old. Rapunzel had tried many times to get her to stop going out for food, wanting to do it herself so that her mother could stay home and rest, but her mother wouldn't hear of it. All Rapunzel could do was keep the old woman as comfortable as possible in ways that wouldn't offend her pride.

     Down in the kitchen she put a kettle of water on the stove. While it was heating, she went over to the where the door used to be, touching the stones she had used to  fill it in years ago. Then she pulled away feeling guilty for wanting to leave. She couldn't leave until her mother was gone, and that was definitely not something she should have been looking forward to. Rapunzel loved the old woman, in fact she was the only person left that Rapunzel loved, but her mother would never let her leave to go do what she'd been longing to ever since they'd come here, saying it was not a woman's place in any way. And now, of course, Rapunzel couldn't leave her alone in her old age, even if she disobeyed.

     The kettle began to squeal, interrupting Rapunzel's thoughts, and she quickly took it off the stove and added some herbs, then hastened up the long, winding steps.

     "Here's your tea, Mo-" Rapunzel froze. The frail woman's eyes were closed, her face paler than usual, her hands still instead of shaking the way they usually did... her chest not moving up and down in the rhythm of her breathing. She had finally pushed herself over the limit, had died while Rapunzel was out of the room. Rapunzel stood there frozen for another moment or so, then dropped the tea and ran to her mother's side, collapsing next to the chair and weeping with her head in her mother's lap.

***

     Rapunzel carefully covered her mother's body with a blanket, then picked up her candle in its stand and slowly left the room, where the woman would lay in her bed forevermore. Rapunzel went into the main room and blew out her candle, not needing it in the moonlight. She went over to the window where she'd helped her mother inside earlier that same day, breathing in the cool, clean air and gazing out at the ruins below. When the two of them had first escaped and come here (she'd lost count of how many years it'd been since then), the city had already been long gone and forgotten, the forest well grown up around it. They'd found this tall tower, which appeared to have once been part of an extravagant castle, but was now simply the only thing left that was still enough in one piece to make a home of. They'd filled in the doorway with large, heavy stones, the wooden door rotted away long ago, for fear someone should somehow find the ruins of the old kingdom and look for them here. The only window, very near the top of the tower, was now the only way in and out.

     Suddenly Rapunzel turned away from the window. It was time to get going. Her first task was over: she'd taken care of her mother for as long as possible. It was time for her to put into action what she'd been planning and preparing all these years in hiding. She began gathering things from all the places she'd hidden all this time, running through her plan over and over in her head all the while. Finally, finally it was time.

Reviews

[The XYZ Writer]

This is an interesting story. Almost everything is perfect. I found no grammar problems, typos, or anything else. The only thing I would suggest is to use another word for mother, because it seems a bit overused. But the story itself brought me in. I am a fairytalke person, so send me a read request whenever you get a new story or book up. I would love to read it!
~Sumayya

[Lost in Wonderland]

ooooh i need more. Great set up for this story.