Dysphoria

If one cannot forget, how will one ever escape Dysphoria?

Dysphoria

Face my reality and show me your truth,

Because I want to become part of you,

So I can dissolve into your soul.

 

You cannot dream forever…

 

I have always loved my mortal youth,

But my time was gone before I knew,

All because of the heart you stole.

For lasting love is only for the few…

 

It is time to face your reality…

 

I am wasting all my times on your smiles…

 

You should just become true with yourself,

For it’s her smile that you always put on your shelf, 

 

Am I broken by my scattered change of heart?

Creating my own shameful piece of art

 

Prepare your soul, for this is the night…

 

Should I ‘stay’ or ‘runaway’?

For I couldn't’’ even see what was in that lovely mind,

Should I just go away...?

For I couldn't even find your tainted raindrop,

Was I really that blind…?

 

Come alive…

 

Will ‘this’ love make me better?

Or should I stay sick forever.

 

You can’t stomach it anymore…

 

Was she allergic for my love…?

Or was I just falsely in love…?

She was never meant to stay,

For her path was fated to be led astray….

 

“This” was meant to be…

©Mitchell Samuël Gordon

Author's Note

It is hard to forget a love of the past, because the love for that person wants to stay part of your future. I had trouble with forgetting a girl that I loved. I loved her for many years but never told her what I felt for her and I realized it too late that I should told her, for she has moved to another city. My memories of here were the only way to confess my feelings. I was always dreaming of alternate reality's but a alternate could never replace my reality. I learned to 'move on in that night. Talking so long to myself, so I could forget the pain and love.

I do not own this image: http://len-yan.deviantart.com/art/camouflage-525332665

Reviews

[Carbon Muse]

We never forget those we love ... they remain a part of us, forever. What matters is that we cherish those memories with fondness and not let it keep us from finding happiness once more.

I love the inner voice, between each stanza, like a voice of reason ...

"All because of the heart you stole.
For lasting love is only for the few…"

Those two lines are pivotal to the poem and guides the reader as to the true nature of the message.

There are so many obstacles to finding ... and indeed even seeing love. We don't always recognize the initial, faint murmers of our hearts. As it grows we start feeling more yet we hesitate. As it blooms into an unmistakable yearning, so deep and strong that we fear the words would leap from our mouths, we hesitate still ... now, our uncertainty replaced by fear of rejection.

Does one venture all and seek happiness? at the risk of friendship? or does one keep one's inner most feelings to one's self, orchestrating one's own torment.

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained ..." As awkward as it may be, initially, true friendship would weather the storm if the feeling is not mutual ...

Thanks for sharing the memory of your unrequited love.

[Nightfeather]

Your review has been the most beautiful and in depth review I have ever received. You have dissolved the very core of my poem and digested the message, intention and emotions that it held. I am at a lost of words by the overwhelming amount of thought you have injected in your review but I will still reply to you with depth.

The inner voice was the part of my soul that did not wish for me to be drowned in sadness. It acted like a beacon of light, for it kept the darkness away that tried to devourer my heart, body and soul. One cannot bear the weight of his wish if one is not willing to sacrifice something of equal value. I fell in love with the concept that describes the pure emotions that humans can feel towards each other, dubbed 'love'. For love is the only reason why this world has not fallen and why we humans still exist. For we love to survive!

Love can make one's heart waver and weaken one''s resolve yet we humans have never stopped loving and that makes us strong.

Thank you for your review :)

[YouTube Converter]

I love this poem. It's well written and you can feel the emotion.

[Nightfeather]

Thank you for your kind words :)

[Cody]

I think everyone should read this. Everyone has experienced this dysphoria and it's sadomasochism because it's a potion of love and hate. You really put your ripped out intestines in this one.

[Nightfeather]

You are right and thank you for your kind and awesome words :)