Dysphoria

If one cannot forget, how will one ever escape Dysphoria?

Dysphoria

Face my reality and show me your truth,

Because I want to become part of you,

So I can dissolve into your soul.

 

You cannot dream forever…

 

I have always loved my mortal youth,

But my time was gone before I knew,

All because of the heart you stole.

For lasting love is only for the few…

 

It is time to face your reality…

 

I am wasting all my times on your smiles…

 

You should just become true with yourself,

For it’s her smile that you always put on your shelf, 

 

Am I broken by my scattered change of heart?

Creating my own shameful piece of art

 

Prepare your soul, for this is the night…

 

Should I ‘stay’ or ‘runaway’?

For I couldn't’’ even see what was in that lovely mind,

Should I just go away...?

For I couldn't even find your tainted raindrop,

Was I really that blind…?

 

Come alive…

 

Will ‘this’ love make me better?

Or should I stay sick forever.

 

You can’t stomach it anymore…

 

Was she allergic for my love…?

Or was I just falsely in love…?

She was never meant to stay,

For her path was fated to be led astray….

 

“This” was meant to be…

©Mitchell Samuël Gordon

Author's Note

It is hard to forget a love of the past, because the love for that person wants to stay part of your future. I had trouble with forgetting a girl that I loved. I loved her for many years but never told her what I felt for her and I realized it too late that I should told her, for she has moved to another city. My memories of here were the only way to confess my feelings. I was always dreaming of alternate reality's but a alternate could never replace my reality. I learned to 'move on in that night. Talking so long to myself, so I could forget the pain and love.

I do not own this image: http://len-yan.deviantart.com/art/camouflage-525332665

Reviews

[Carbon Muse]

We never forget those we love ... they remain a part of us, forever. What matters is that we cherish those memories with fondness and not let it keep us from finding happiness once more.

I love the inner voice, between each stanza, like a voice of reason ...

"All because of the heart you stole.
For lasting love is only for the few…"

Those two lines are pivotal to the poem and guides the reader as to the true nature of the message.

There are so many obstacles to finding ... and indeed even seeing love. We don't always recognize the initial, faint murmers of our hearts. As it grows we start feeling more yet we hesitate. As it blooms into an unmistakable yearning, so deep and strong that we fear the words would leap from our mouths, we hesitate still ... now, our uncertainty replaced by fear of rejection.

Does one venture all and seek happiness? at the risk of friendship? or does one keep one's inner most feelings to one's self, orchestrating one's own torment.

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained ..." As awkward as it may be, initially, true friendship would weather the storm if the feeling is not mutual ...

Thanks for sharing the memory of your unrequited love.

[Nightfeather]

Your review has been the most beautiful and in depth review I have ever received. You have dissolved the very core of my poem and digested the message, intention and emotions that it held. I am at a lost of words by the overwhelming amount of thought you have injected in your review but I will still reply to you with depth.

The inner voice was the part of my soul that did not wish for me to be drowned in sadness. It acted like a beacon of light, for it kept the darkness away that tried to devourer my heart, body and soul. One cannot bear the weight of his wish if one is not willing to sacrifice something of equal value. I fell in love with the concept that describes the pure emotions that humans can feel towards each other, dubbed 'love'. For love is the only reason why this world has not fallen and why we humans still exist. For we love to survive!

Love can make one's heart waver and weaken one''s resolve yet we humans have never stopped loving and that makes us strong.

Thank you for your review :)

[Philip Muls]

She stole his heart and he cannot move on. You capture that well. He is torn, should he still pursue her or forget. Her smile he cannot forget. Powerful imagery, well done.

[Nightfeather]

Thank you for your kind words :)

[Insight "MH"]

One of my best reads. Well penned, and masterfully drawn picture. I hope you live a prosperous life.


Insight.

[Nightfeather]

Thank you. Your words have made me smile, thank you :)

[Insight "MH"]

You are welcome ^_^

[PoeticChico]

I think you have a very creative mind, but not only that, you are able to translate your experiences to a wonderful written piece of Art. I love all your writing, keep sharing with us! Cheers!

[Nightfeather]

Thank you my friend. Your comment has made me really happy :)

[𝐋.𝐂.]

Your love moved to another city doesn't mean it's over~
Your relationship with her won't change if you truely love her :)

Or if you already move on, then good luck!

[Nightfeather]

Thank you and I have learned to move on. I have learned from my past mistakes, so I won't make the same mistakes again :)

[𝐋.𝐂.]

Mistakes were the lesson of future sucess
Good luck :)

[Celie Rose]

I feel your pain Michell. I think that everyone goes through these feelings to a certain extent. It has to happen in order to forgive and move on. Good job!

[Nightfeather]

Thank you. You are right: if one cannot forgive, one can never move on :)

[Imperfection2aT]

Poetry can be difficult, and what makes it difficult is that the words hold different meaning for everyone. The way I interpreted this was as a man trying to understand what had happened in losing his love. This is a powerful piece that is done very well.

[Nightfeather]

Thank you. My idea was to create many ways to interpret this poem. For I like to alter the thoughts of the reader :P

[Tomoe Tellez]

Forgetting is not the answer to love, it's learning. If you ever go through this again with someone else you will know not to make the same mistake. And if you can do something about this love then do it, and I you can't just keep it in your heart, but don't let it bring a shadow to you life. My mother always tells me to not worry about things I have no way of fixing.
Great poem, I love the diversity of words in your poems.

[Nightfeather]

Thank you for this kind an informative review. You are right, forgetting is not the right path to walk on. I am in love with a new girl and I shall not make the same mistake again. Your mom is very wise, give her my regards :)

[Tomoe Tellez]

I will, and I'm glad for you. :D

[Nightfeather]

Thank you :)

[Ryan Elijah Martin Ang]

I hope you don't mind my style of review too much - I edit poetry on the side and can be rather harsh. Apologies in advance, I do not intend to condemn or insult.

I tend to hold the classical viewpoint that poetry is essentially an Oral art form, and that poems should be read aloud. The contracted form of expression in a lot of poetry only makes sense when read aloud. By contrast, when a poem uses normative writing, it can come across as slightly awkward. Large segments of your poem Dysphoria read as stream-of-consciousness, which places itself at odds with the liberal use of logical connectors between your various ideas ("because", "but", "or"). The audience would understand your meaning as well, if not better with less visual "logic". But in doing so, your consistency of style with the content (A ragged and confused mind struggling with loss) would enhance the meaning you intend to convey.

[Nightfeather]

I like your style of review. You tell the things the way they are and I respect that but remember. The power of a poem does not come from the technical aspects (like grammar or logical structured sentences). Its power comes from the emotions that hide underneath each words. If you fail to connect with the poem's emotion, then one shall never fully understand the core (message) of the poem. You are a great reviewer :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

First of all, moving on does not mean to forget. The love you feel for someone is not to be forgotten, but carried through your life. It is only right that way. And yeah, you should have told her, that would help avoid the pain. If she would turn you down, well atleast you'd know, and if the feeling was mutual... All the better for the both of you. But now you will probably never know.

[Nightfeather]

You are right. For the main reason why I have written this poem, was that I can just not forget my love for her. I feel like I want to see her one last time. So I can really move on and break my illusion. Because I want to know of she still loves me/loved me. Thank you for this review :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

No problem :)