Fountain of Tears

A poetic description of the time when my brother passed away in 2005 (picture is original artwork done by Jared Dennis)

They flowed when I heard you were in the ER- but subsided when you were moved and stable.

They flowed when your heart stopped- but subsided when they started CPR and vowed not to stop for three hours.

They flowed when they said there was no more they could do after God had taken you home- but subsided for a moment while I fell asleep late that night holding onto your pillow.

They flowed when we said good bye at your service, with all your friends and family there. But this time they did not subside because, little brother, I now realize that you are gone, really gone and my heart can't bear the hole that is left behind.

They flowed when I decided to end it all and swallowed those pills. They flowed as I begged to go home to be with you, but subsided when God said 'No'.

This past year and a half they have been flowing: freely at times, bitter and forced at others. I have been so angry with God, so angry at the world. They paid no attention to the fountain of tears that flowed from your life.