Morals

Struggling to find his place in life,

because he was cheated on, then dumped by his wife.

"Where do I go from here? What should I do?

What kind of lifestyle should I pursue?"

Usually now, he would have went to the pub,

but he thought, forget it, i'm going to a night club.

He sat down down and checked out all the girls, 

he saw a good looking one, covered in diamonds and pearls.

Usually, he would have been polite,

but now he couldn't care less about wrong or right,

for he had been stamped on, pushed, crushed,

he felt the blood from his heart gush.

2 minutes later, he was out on his head,

he stood up and saw a puddle of red

where he just lay, but this was his new life now,

just because he was stepped on by a horrible cow

that was his wife, now just a bad part of the past

but this thought that he had, would now be his last,

for he collapsed, fell and landed back on his head,

and fell asleep forever in the puddle of red.

In conclusion, don't let bad people affect your life, 

even if it is your husband or wife.

Be your own person, rule your own life

before it becomes a massive strife.

Reviews

[AK]

Nice poem! Very much your style, lol. Please type '2' out. It will sound better. Rhyming scheme in some places is forced-'girls and pearls' and 'now and cow'. This sort of breaks the flow as you have to jump from one topic to another to maintain the scheme. Syllables are not consistent. Last stanza not really strong enough. Try using stronger words in the last stanza like-'crushed' and 'shatter'. Gives more life to the poem. Add a little more descriptive words? Some different punctuation like semi colons, periods and question marks?
Ok, that's enough. Have a good day!
Akanksha Suresh

[Angelic Surrender]

Strong words. Great work

[Pencrafter]

This poem is a good description of something which, unfortunately, happens to many people. Your sentence length could be shorter. Watch for places where you can say something with only one word instead of two or three. And I would write 'two' instead of '2'. But those are just my opinions. I really enjoyed your last verse, and the whole poem is easy to read and understand. Good job!

[closed..acct]

2 minutes later, he was out on his head,
he stood up and saw a puddle of red

I loved these two lines here,
This is such a truthful write.
I like this alot, awesome penning!