Acting

Switches POV.

Pete’s POV:

 

            The weather cleared up and it was a very nice, sunny day: Thursday. The gig was in 2 days. We would be in Chicago in fifteen minutes. I thought about the gig as I watched the road go by, sitting in the back of the van. This show was my future. It could potentially make or break the rest of my life- my career in this band. I knew even if nothing happened after Saturday night (no labels called us, no one wanted us to play any other major gigs) I could always try again with a different band. I felt bad for thinking that, because I wanted success with this band more than anything. I wanted success with Ryan.

            Madison excitedly nudged my arm as we passed the sign welcoming us into Chicago. The buildings were huge, the boats were huge, the lake was huge- I felt like I was going to get lost just looking at the city. It was a bit overwhelming, especially when Ryan drove us past the Metro.

            “We are gonna f*****g rock,” he said. His enthusiasm was a bit forced, but frankly, I was sick of worrying about him. I felt better knowing Ryan’s big secret. I didn’t really know how to handle it, but I was positive that doing drugs was not the right answer. I hoped that being there for him was enough until we could find professional help.

            Ryan pulled into the Hilton.

            “Can we afford the Hilton?” Kalin asked, glancing up from the Nintendo DS that had been occupying him.

            “Yeah, I mean, this is where Ron told us to go, so…” Ryan trailed off as he got out of the van. I watched him walk around and open up the side door to grab his duffel bag of clothes, throw it over his shoulder and walk toward the entrance, mumbling for the rest of us to hurry up. Rob followed him close behind.

            The way Ryan’s wispy, perfectly ebony colored hair whipped across his porcelain face made him look even more angelic than usual. It may have been reminiscence of the previous night, but I felt like I was even more in love with him. I noticed Madison watching him also, the feeling of daggers in her chest evident in her expression. I hadn’t noticed until now how bad she was at masking her emotions. Maybe it was because she had been sober for the past 48 hours.

            As we put our belongings in our rooms, we decided to tour the “windy city”. Matt suggested we go to the Shed Aquarium, but Ron vetoed the idea, explaining that we had “insufficient funding for that”. We walked around downtown and got hot dogs from a street vendor instead. I latched onto Ryan’s hand, and he took it uneasily. He lit a cigarette and held it in his other hand as we walked. Rob, who was walking behind us with Kalin, chuckled.

            “What’s so funny?” Kalin asked him.

            “Some people are just such f*****g good actors. Like, f*****g Oscar award winning actors in life,” he laughed, shaking his head. Kalin was still confused, but Rob did not elaborate further.

            We passed a little park, and Madison, without warning, ran over to the slide and slid down. The two children who were in the park ran away, frightened. I looked at Ryan who laughed, and led me over to the swings. Rob and Kalin sat down on either side of the teeter-totter and everyone else lay down on the merry-go-round thing.

            Ryan lit yet another cigarette with shaking hands.

            “You okay, Ry?” I asked.

            “I just… I haven’t done anything today, and I was doing alright for a while, but…” he swallowed hard.

            “I get it. You can’t just quit cold-turkey.” I said.

            “I’m starting to understand that,” he said, getting up and walking over to Rob. I watched him explain his situation, and he and Rob walked to the small restroom. I took Rob’s place on the teeter-totter with Kalin.

            “Hey bro,” he greeted me.

            “Hey,” I said, struggling to view him the same way after what Madison had told me.

            “Being in a relationship… with someone who has an addiction,” I bit my nail, “It’s really exhausting,”

            “I know,” he said, looking at the ground.

            Duh, of course he knows. I felt kind of stupid for bringing it up, but whenever I talked to Kalin, I wanted to tell him my entire life story for some reason. He had that effect on people.

            “Madison… she told me. I just wanted to say, honestly, you are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. I really respect you,” I said. I knew I was blushing because I felt stupid and corny, but he had to know. He had to know that someone felt that way.

            “Thank you, Pete,” he smiled at me. “And, just so that you’re in the loop,” he half-smiled, “I haven’t given up on her,” We both looked at Madison, lying in the grass blowing smoke rings in the air. I knew she didn’t think so, but it was plain to see- she really was a beautiful girl.

            “Good,” I said. Rob and Ryan started walking back towards us, Ryan looking very dazed, Rob very excited.

            “I want to go back now!” Benny called over to us.

            “Yeah, I do too,” Madison agreed. We all got up and headed back to the hotel.

 

Ryan’s POV:

 

            “I meant what I said, Ryan. You should win an Oscar,” Rob said to me as we made our way to the park bathroom. “I almost forgot it was me who had your dick in my mouth last night,”

            “Shut the f**k up, Rob. You… beat the s**t out of me. What did I even do?” I asked, pleading.

            “You made me angry,” he said bluntly, shrugging it off. “Now, be quiet and listen to me. I know you feel like s**t right now,” he said, leaning against the dirty sink of the fluorescent lit bathroom. “And I know you probably want what I’ve been giving you all this time, but… I have something better,” He pulled a case out of his back pocket, similar to something you’d keep glasses in, and opened it, revealing two needles.

            “Heroin?” I choked out, my breathing uneven. He lifted an eyebrow, looking at me through a curtain of hair. Terror- complete and utter terror- coursed through my veins. I swallowed. “What if I said no?” I asked.

            “That would be a shame… Your face looks so pretty today. I’d hate to have to ruin it,”

            I took the needle, horrified with myself. Tears threatened to spill over the rims of my eyes.

            “Don’t cry,” he said, “Don’t cry,”