One Time Thing

A Chapter by MCrouch

Switches between Pete and Ryan's POV.

PETE’S POV:

I felt sick, walking home from Ryan’s house. Something wasn’t right. I didn’t know if he could see it, but I could. There was something about spending our first day out of high school completely hung over… And I couldn’t believe how he’d acted at the party. I was legitimately terrified that he’d go to that extent just to have a good time. I had seen him do drugs, and I had seen him drink a lot before, but never like that. It took me until the morning after the party to really comprehend how crazy he’d been. I doubted that he’d ever take it that far again, but I was afraid nonetheless.

I was also upset with how immature he was being. I didn’t want to be mad at him but, I was. I was angry with how he acted, and I was angry with this stupid road trip thing that he just decided was a good idea. I mean, what the hell? Making stupid suggestions when you’re drunk is one thing, but actually going through with them? I had to think of a way to wiggle my way out of this… Everything was just so sketchy, and I didn’t like it. But I couldn’t tell him that.

These were the thoughts running through my head while he was trying to seduce me. I needed time to think.

***

RYAN’S POV:

“Thanks,” I said to Rob after snorting two lines of coke.

“No problem, man,” We sat on the concrete ground of the empty parking lot of a run-down fast food place. It was about 1:15 am.

“So, how did you become, like, the wizard of all dealers?” I asked.

“Passed down to me from my brother,” he said, lighting up a cigarette. “He got sick of putting up with all the s**t from his clients and running from the law all the time, so he dumped it on me. Thought he was doing me some sort of favor,” Rob explained.

“So… you don’t like it?” I asked.

“Sometimes,” he answered flatly, looking at the ground. I nodded, not knowing what else to say. There was a long silence.

“So, you and Pete, yeah?” he asked, the corners of his mouth turning up ever so slightly.

“Yeah, but…” I knew I was gonna ramble and say things I didn’t really mean, but that’s sort of what cocaine did to me.

“But?” he asked.

“He was being weird earlier… I dunno,”

“Yeah, I noticed at McDank earlier. Maybe he’s just mad at you for getting ketchup on his pretty little nose.” he laughed. I laughed half-heartedly.

“He is on the bottom, right?” Rob asked, still laughing.

“Ew, why do you wanna know?” I asked, shoving his arm and chuckling. He just shrugged. “Yeah, he normally takes the bottom, but I’m not selfish, alright?” I said, laughing under my breath nervously.

“Riiight,” Rob chuckled. I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “I thought you fucked Madison though- did she just help you realize you were gay or whatever?” he asked, his eyebrow raised skeptically.

“Yeah, I dunno. We were tripping pretty hard and it just sort of happened. It was really f*****g weird. She kept talking about pandas…”

“Was she bad?” he asked.

“Um, yeah,” I said. We laughed loudly together.

“She was alright when she and I did it… I guess,” he said. I thanked God she and I used a condom- every person I’d ever had a conversation with had had sex with Madison at one point in their lives… And we had only just graduated high school. I shook it from my head.

“I fucked a lot of boys…” I admitted randomly.

“Yeah? Like who?” he asked.

“Like, younger guys- sophomores and juniors…” I swallowed hard, a sick feeling forming in my stomach. Why was I talking about this? I couldn’t keep the words from coming out of my mouth. “When I was a junior… I had sex with a freshman. He was the only other virgin besides Pete that I had done it with.” I said. Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them back before Rob could notice.

“Woah- Pete was a virgin?” Rob asked. He looked like he was going to erupt with laughter again.

I cleared my throat, “Yeah, and it was bad the first time. Like, he couldn’t even handle it. He totally freaked out and I ended up having to go down on him. It was a little pathetic,” Rob cackled as the words just flew out of my mouth. I felt really bad for saying that… somewhere in my mind.

“I have… done the deed with someone of the male persuasion also, but it was sort of a deal related type thing,” he said.

“Oh,” I mumbled. There was another awkward pause after that, until I stuttered, “A-and… did you- I mean… D-did you like it?”

“Well,” he sighed, “I… um, yeah. I did.” What the hell was I supposed to say to that? “So I guess I’m a little confused…” he said, lighting another cigarette.

“Yeah,” I said. I was dizzy- the coke he had given me was nice, but it made me feel a little too brave and impulsive. “Well, okay- how does this make you feel?” I asked. I put my hand on his neck and kissed him softly on the cheek.

“I feel… like…” he took a long drag from his cigarette, lifting it to his lips with shaky hands. He didn’t intend to finish his sentence.

“Ryan?” he asked after a while.

“Mhm?”

“Your hand…” he said. My hand had remained resting on his neck.

“I know,” I said. I tucked a piece of black hair behind his ear. He turned to face me.

I looked at him, seeing him for real for the first time. He had a tiny scar above his left eyebrow that made his otherwise soft face look worn and tough. I liked it. His hair framed his face, and his brilliant blue eyes were searching my own for something- anything. He looked vulnerable and a little scared. I liked it.

He glanced down to my mouth, then back up to my eyes. The wind blew hard, making me shiver a little. My hand never left its resting place on his shoulder. I felt like I was one of those people in old movies or cartoons, tied to the train tracks, watching the train approach, being completely helpless and having to just accept that the mother f*****g train was going to hit them and it would all be over.

I licked my bottom lip, leaned in, and kissed Rob McCormick on the lips. No tongue- no fancy s**t. We just kissed for a long time. The train had hit me, and I accepted it. The last thing that flashed through my mind before I was run over was Pete’s face.

He pulled back and looked at me. Neither of us said anything at first.

“S**t,” he muttered after a while. I sighed and mumbled “S**t,” in response. There was something there- something between us. In a way, it was kind of exciting to me. I felt dangerous. He made me feel dangerous. At that moment, I never wanted that feeling to go away.

Rob stood up and leaned against the brick wall. I did the same. He stepped on his cigarette butt on the ground.

“I like guys,” he stated, almost reluctantly. “I knew it too. F**k.” he spit on the ground. Without looking at him, I took his hand. He squeezed it. “I’m lucky though,” he said. I looked up at him. “I’m lucky to have you around,”

I stood in front of him and placed my lips on his again. I did this cautiously, wanting him to be the one to make the next move. He did.

He put his hands on my waist and kissed me more lustfully, opening his mouth. He breathed unevenly. I thought it was sweet, his nervousness. I bit his bottom lip, my thoughts briefly coming back to Pete- I waved it away. What harm can a one time thing do anyway? He pulled my body closer to his. I knew it really drove him crazy when I ran my fingers up and down on his neck. He kissed me more forcefully. This was like a little experiment in my head, doing the right things, finding the right reactions. Plus, I was helping him out in a way; I was helping him find who he really was. That put my thoughts to rest.

His hands moved down my back to my a*s and he pulled me even closer to him. I rocked my hips against his until he sighed my name into the darkness. I felt a little weird with the satisfaction I got from that…

As we walked back over to where he parked the van, he proceeded to mumble all the things we wanted to do to me, and I had to admit, I was pretty turned on, but mostly just tired at that point. He drove me home and I kissed him one last time before we said goodbye. By the time I flopped down on my bed, the guilt was setting in and the high was wearing off.

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