Graduation

            Our relationship had grown comfortable. We would still go on walks like old times, talking about life and gossiping about Madison and our band members. The band knew about Ryan and I. Matt had told them, and they were a little freaked out, but in the grand scheme of things, they just wanted to make awesome music. They knew they couldn’t do that without Ryan or myself, so they just sort of ignored it. Practices went on just like normal, only at Benny’s house now, and all was well.

            Almost every day after practice, I would go back to Ryan’s house, and one thing leads to the next… I got the hang of sex pretty quickly after that horrible first time. I had apologized to Ryan for freaking out, but he didn’t care at all. He admitted that he would most likely do the same thing.

            Although Madison was no longer living at home, she managed to get enough credits to graduate high school, which was what I, Ryan, Madison and Benny had on our agenda two weeks from then.

            “Rob wants to throw us a graduation party,” Madison chirped excitedly after school one day as we all smoked outside of McDonalds.

            “Rob doesn’t have a house to throw a party at. How would that even work?” Ryan asked, flicking his cigarette onto the pavement.

            “At Holland Park"No one goes back there except for, well, him. He’d just get some fun stuff, some music, and a s**t ton of people. It’ll be really amazing. I know it.” she said. Ryan raised his eyebrows and looked at me. I shrugged.

            “F**k you all. You’ll see,” Madison said, exhaling smoke through her nose. Ryan and I remained silent.

            “Alright, bye,” she walked off, her purple dress trailing behind her. Ryan and I went back to my house.

            “Mom?” I called as I tossed my backpack on the ground. Ryan did the same. “Dad?” No answer.

            “Ooh, no parents,” Ryan joked, elbowing me in the arm.

            “Ooh, since when has that stopped us,” I smiled.

            “Truth,” he said. We flopped down on the couch and turned on the TV.

            “Jersey Shore? Food Network? Big Time Rush? Ooh, it’s a marathon.” I joked. Ryan grabbed the remote and turned off the TV.

            He looked at me- and I mean really looked at me- for a long moment. It was almost awkward. I kind of felt like he was about to say something a few times, but then he just looked at me some more. After a while, I had to fill the silence with something.

            “What’s up?” I asked. Instead of responding, he leaned in and kissed my lips. It was sweet- not too passionate or anything, just a simple kiss. Then, he turned the TV back on and put his arm around me. If there was one moment I could’ve chosen to live in forever, it would have been that one. Maybe because of how sweet and simple it all seemed, but how tragically complicated it all ended up being, or maybe because it was the last moment I could recall things being, well, normal.

            Before I knew it, I woke up and it was graduation day. I slept in, showered, put on my outfit and fancy blue robe and took pictures with my parents. They were somewhat proud of me, but graduating high school was expected in my family. They didn’t feel the need to invite my relatives to the ceremony or make a cake or anything. That day, I thought about the gig in Chicago a lot. I was so excited about it. I felt like that would be the beginning of my future, and I was ready. But even so, everything was very uncertain. What would happen after the gig? Would we ever play another show after that one? Would we ever be signed to a record label? I cursed myself for not having anything to fall back on. Playing the guitar was all I really knew. It was my only vice- my only talent, my only anything. In two or three years, I didn’t necessarily want to see myself waiting tables at Applebee’s… but I didn’t want to think about that in that moment. I would think about it later.

            When I arrived at school, there were a lot of things happening at once- lots of parents and robes, a sea of blue and white, and crying students huddling in their groups of friends. Ryan caught up with me and gave me a big hug.

            “Wow, we made it,” he said.

            “Yeah, I guess we did,” I replied.

            The ceremony was long- seemingly endless- but when I got my diploma, it was worth it. I was proud of myself. Watching Benny receive his diploma with honors and Madison walking across the stage and actually kissing the principal on the cheek was pretty cool too. Then, of course, watching Ryan walk across the stage was awesome. We were moving on in our lives together, and it was exciting. When we all tossed our hats in the air, Ryan kissed me on the mouth for the entire world to see. There were some mumbles from the kids around us of “Knew it,” or “Ew,” but most were unfazed.

            “I DID IT, B*****S,” Madison screamed through the crowds of people. We all cheered.

            After spending some time with our families and changing out of our robes, we found Rob and his van back at Holland Park. It was about 9 pm, so the sky was pretty much dark now. There was a huge bon fire, some lanterns and music blaring from the van speakers. I had to admit, it was pretty cool.

            Ryan, Madison, Matt, Benny and I arrived together. There had to have been around twenty people already there, some from our school, some friends of Rob’s. I spotted Kalin and we waved to each other. I sat next to him at the bon fire while Ryan and Madison went to talk to Rob. Madison had cut her graduation robe to be like a mini-dress, so when she jumped into Rob’s arms, she flashed her a*s to everyone. She sure was the definition of classy…

            “You’re free now!” Kalin said to me.

            “Yes, f*****g finally.” I said. Being done with high school was a big weight off my shoulders.

            “Hey,” Ryan came up behind me and kissed me on the cheek. He handed me a cup with unidentifiable alcohol in it. “Congrats, grad,” he said. “Bottoms up,” I downed the nasty concoction.

            The rest of the night was a bit fuzzy. I had a lot more than just that one drink, but I never took any drugs. Ryan on the other hand was going f*****g insane. He was drinking Fleischmann’s straight out of the bottle, he swallowed a pill that someone called “Irish Wristwatch”, he snorted coke off of Madison’s stomach, and threw up in the bushes. He proceeded to rinse his mouth out with gin.

            “Let’s like, go and just f*****g live, okay?” Ryan slurred, “You,” he pointed at Rob, “You’re so good. You are a good person. I mean it, okay? You’re like… my best friend. Let’s go to Chicago together! You have to come with us okay? Because I don’t know what I’d do without you… because… we’ll just go… forever,” Ryan fell to the ground and laughed hysterically.

            “Alright man, whatever you say,” Rob laughed at him. Rob stayed pretty sober for most of the night. Ryan was worse than anyone at the party. Even Madison was less sloppy than him.

            I remember piling into the back of Rob’s van- me, Ryan, Rob and Madison. The sun was just about rising. I closed my eyes and drifted a little, but I was still aware of my surroundings. Ryan was draped over my legs with his head propped up on Rob’s shoulder. He said he “couldn’t lay down or the van would swallow him.” I blamed the Irish Wristwatch.

            “Rob,” Ryan whispered.

            “Yeah, bud,” Rob answered.

            “You… are… wonderful,” Ryan slurred.

            “You’re pretty cool too, Lane,” Rob said.

            “No, you are better. You’re so good. I’m bad…” he was petting Rob’s head now. “I did… bad things. I did really really bad… things,”

            “Go to sleep,” Rob said.

            “He… loved me,” Ryan whispered once again as we all drifted off. 

Author's Note

I know this is short, but I couldn't squish it with the next chapter... So, mini chapter (:

Reviews

[Kaylor Mason]

Interesting--Ryan's got something on his conscience