Song of Violins

NOV

21

Song of Violins

Our strings

are to never be plugged,

Our roads

are to never be marked,

by thousands of fingers;

by four and only four steps. 

As the river flows, 

the violin can be heard

like there's a song 

two hands has sung.

Between the millions of fingers

and the shy two steps

it is that touch that lingers

and eternally stops my breath;

The strings

that may never be plugged

again.

The roads

that may never be marked

again

The river that still flows

The I that 

only you

knows.

Reviews

[Chase]

The last usage of "again" could very well be left out. I feel like it would suit the piece better to not have the couplet of repetition. Being that i am in a loud autobody shop at the moment, though, may affect my ability to interpret flow as it is meant.

That being said, i very much enjoyed this piece. From the metaphorical violin to the varied stanzas. Violins are dear to me, and so anything to do with them is always held in a most high esteem with myself, but I love how you use it here to illustrate the paths we walk.

A few recommendations I will offer are as follows:

1. Try a lefthand alignment versus your approach at centering. I've always found centering to be poem specific for appropriation and this piece doesn't seem to need it. It detracts from the beautiful pictures you create with your words. This is definitely not said to keepyou from experimenting with structure in general, though. Try, try, and try again!! Get crazy with it! Just check it over now and then.

2. The title.. I don't know what it is that bothers me about it but it doesn't seem to do justice to you piece. Thats just my opinion though!

3. Pretty simple one here... "has" in the last line of the second stanza should be "have" due to the word "hands" being plural.

I wish i had more work of yours to review... get writing.

[Adam Adams]

In a destiny of love, one road that leads to other is called "The Song Of Violins". That's what I kinda resonate outta the words you drilled deep in your pages. Very deep and poetically marvelous reading. It's 'bout two lovers whose destination's never be certain neither their "love". Nice flow of ink. Would be looking forward to reading you!

[Madalina Coman]

I am deeply touched by your words. I am happy that I was able to send off the emotion behind this piece of writing. Thank you!

-Madalina

[Bohrium Guy]

Being a musician and lover of music, I found this piece fascinating and filled with creativity. Thanks for sharing your writings.

~Rob~

[Madalina Coman]

Thank you so much! Your words really inspire me to write more. Thank you again!

-Madalina

[Bohrium Guy]

The idea is to release and feel within words. I look forward to reading more from you.

~Rob~