Goodnight.

A Chapter by Ardeth

His pen was scrawling across the page, words working together to form a letter. A goodbye letter that he planned to slip between the folds of the forgotten t-shirt and mail to an address tagged with AZ. The specifics of the address were already on the flap of the box, ready to be shipped, all except the AZ. Two letters on the opposite sides of the letter lines on first graders desks, and countless miles apart.

"Arizona." He'd said. "That's where we're moving, Ben and I." He said not to worry, and that he promised they'd be happy together. That Ben was a good guy. That they were in love.

He always smiled at that part. Half out of hoping James really was happy, and half out of hurt. Hurt caused from the breaking in a five year romance, that was replaced in a six week fling. Love.

The t-shirt was the last piece of him to go before all f it was gone. Every note, earring, and sock had been sucked away, and at times it seemed like maybe on top of clearing out his things, James had washed the air because even that felt void.

As he tried to breathe and write, he didn't hear the footsteps on the stairs, and it wasn't until the door opened that Matt realized he wasn't alone.

"Hey." The voice said followed by two light taps on the door frame. "Can I come in?" He asked. At first Matt did not respond, but rather soaked in what he saw. And what he saw was a painful transformation. Six weeks ago James had stood in that exact spot waiting for him to get ready for their date. He'd been wearing a button up shirt and suspenders with a tie, even though the restaurant was casual. His hair smelled of product, and body was decorated in carefully selected accessories. Now he had fitted jeans, an old solid colored t-shirt, and a jacket that did good things for his shoulders. Instead of bright colors, he wore tattered sneakers; bracelets became a watch, and rings became ring. One ring, a silver one, on one very important finger.

It was killing him.

"Yeah." He coughed when he spoke, and scrambled to stand on his feet. "What do you need?" For a moment he thought he sounded to blunt or rude. James didn't notice.

"Just wanted to make sure I didn't leave anything else behind."

"You didn't." For added effect Matt made a sweeping gesture to the apartment with his arm. James's eyes scanned over everything, and he nodded slightly. His mouth was pressed into a tight line and eyebrows drawn close together. He knew that expression and raised his hand. "Don't."

James sealed his opened mouth and nodded again.

"Is that it then?"

"Is it?" His eyes were a raw blue, and sad. When Matt did not reply, he lowered his gaze to the floor.

"I think it is." The front door was still open so Matt took hold of it's edge and increased its angle. "If I find anything else I know where to send it." James's head bounced back up.

"Yes." He sounded desperate. "That's right, you do."

The stayed like that for a while, holding eye contact. Matt held his arm steady on the door frame. Expectation weighed heavily in the air, but Matt internally refused to succumb. He would send the shirt tomorrow like planned. He would not invite him past the entryway. He would not go down that path tonight.

"Goodnight." A surprise to his own ears, Matt was able to keep his voice steady for the one worded execution. For a third time, James nodded to himself.

Then he left.

Matt closed the door gently behind him but held the knob a while longer. When he did finally let go, he returned to the couch and slid the folded letter into an envelope with 'James' written on the front. Matt dropped the letter onto the floor and after a moment of contemplation, swept the box and shirt off the couch as well. He would sleep on the couch tonight, and he would sleep well.