Perhaps We Amount to Nothing

You are an artist,

or at least you were once,

in the high school days.

You bent thin wire into lions,

sketched an eye draped in shadow,

even did a portrait of me:

my arms hugging my knees

tucked against my chest

and a lopsided grin below my ears,

natural and relaxed.

 

I was a poet,

or at least I tried to be.

I wrote about lonely twilights,

pianos and hopes of golden exorbitance,

but mostly about you,

my majestic muse, a beautiful soul

beneath thickets of prickly brambles.

I just wanted to touch you.

But my words were too fragile;

I pricked my fingers every time.

 

I withdrew into myself

during those late spring months.

I wanted my thoughts to be more

than just hollow bells to you,

fuller than forgotten pangs to the ear.

You should make art, you said

one night among pillows, sheets, and stars.

I can’t draw, I replied,

my fingers tracing your lips.

Just try.

 

The following night I picked up a pen

and some yellow off-brand Post-Its.

I stuck six together in diagonal randomness

and scribbled some mountains,

cascading across those planes.

Something cold, probably in Russia.

Black, bitter wind spiraling in the air,

loops of freehand emptiness.

I called it Perhaps We Amount to Nothing,

and shoved it in a broken dresser drawer.

 

I found one piece of it yesterday,

on a return weekend from college,

a tiny sheet of squiggly lines

with lint and dirt clinging to expired adhesive.

I crumpled it slowly in my calloused palm.

At two AM I collapsed on the couch

and called you. We talked for an hour,

our voices drowning in static.

It’s been an exhausting day, I said.

I miss you, too, was the reply.

 

So I hung up and fell asleep,

and all I saw in my dreams

were the snowy slopes,

the icy night clouds,

and myself, standing at the summit.

Reviews

[Carlton Rolle]

Whoooooa! This is really cool! I enjoyed the dynamic experience between the two folk. Pulling it together into a wonderful summit of emotions and lofty dreams. I admire the dream and honor this piece! Thanks. :)