He was enchanting. His eyes looking
down into mine, his dark hair blending in with the darkness of the sky, only
the stars setting it apart. His mouth was turned upward in a half smile, and I
wondered what he was thinking. In that moment, here with me, how did he view
it? I sometimes wonder if he actually loves me. He is a great boyfriend, always
kind, always complimenting. He treats me like he should. It’s just this nagging
feeling, really. A product of my own insecurities and paranoia, or at least that’s
what I tell myself. I wonder if he feels love or if he just going through the
motions of what he thinks a good boyfriend is supposed to do. I wonder if
choosing me as a partner was a mere calculation. He added up my personal
qualities and decided that I would make well next to him. Its thoughts like these
that cross my mind when I’m alone. When I am alone with just the silence
screaming at me. Its just my own mind, I tend to lose touch with reality when I
have too much time to think. Its moments like these that keep me here. The look
in his eyes right now. In this moment, this real
moment.