The Kitchen

One mistake leads a couple to believe that not everything can be perfect forever.

“I just don't understand,” she said leaning against the meticulously clean kitchen counter and crossing her arms.

“Baby,” he raised his eyebrows, his mouth tightening, an agitated hand ruffling his hair, “I told you. I don't know why I did it... I just.. I don't know!” That same hair-ruffling hand flying open, fingers splayed near his shoulder.

“Well, was she pretty?”

“What?”

“If you're going to waste this relationship on someone she should at least be pretty,” she said matter-of-factly, trying to mask her pain and frustration.

“So that's it? We're over? Just like that?” He knew he had messed up �" fucked up, really. This felt serious enough for “fucked up.”

“God, Tim, just answer the question!” She was starting to crack. She was starting to show those emotions. And the bright lights were reflecting onto her beautiful eyes from the polished pans hanging over the spotless island behind him.

“Yes, OK? She was f*****g gorgeous.” Why did she have to look like that? Why did her hair have to curl around her ears like that?

“Don't talk like that. I hate that,” she reminded him for the thousandth time.

“But that was it! It didn't mean anything! I love you!” He ignored her, unable to believe that that's what she was worried about right now.

“Love me? You love me? You love me? That's pretty rich, you know that?” Despite her determination to stay cool and unhurt and above it, heat was rising in her face and salty tears were gathering on her lower lashes. Don't wipe your eyes!

“I mean it, Lily! You're everything to me. I'd never do anything to-”

“Stop it! Let me stop you right there before you tell a bold faced lie. Liar!” That was it. The tears started to fall. How had it come to this? How could it all end, here in the gleaming kitchen.

“It's not a lie! I never meant-”

“But you did!”

“I only wanted-”

“What!? Something I couldn't give you? Am I not good enough for you anymore?”

“God d****t-”

“Tim!”

“What, Lily!? What!?”

“Language!”

“Seriously? Who cares, Lily!? Who f*****g cares!? I cheated on you! I f*****g cheated on you! And she was f*****g beautiful, and I f*****g enjoyed it. OK!? Jesus! Language? What is your problem, Lil'?” He realized his hands were in fists, but he couldn't seem to unclench them. What would he do if he unclenched them?

She was silent. The tears finally rolled in dark glassy orbs down her cheeks as her perfectly done make-up quickly stained her face with kohl grey.

“I just want you to be the sort of person who-”

“Think really carefully, baby.”

Again she was silent.

He looked away from her pale, stricken face. He couldn't bear to look at that face any more, at the look that was his fault. But wasn't it her fault too? If only she had been more open, more spontaneous. I mean, God! Look at this stupid kitchen! It was so clean and organized. Not thing out of place or unexpected.

“I'm going for a walk,” he said, still not looking at her.

“Fine. Just walk away,” she wasn't looking at him either. She tore a paper towel from the stainless wrack on the counter, “what's new?”

He chose to ignore this dig. He was done. So f*****g done. He grabbed his keys roughly from the hook and left the apartment, not entirely sure he would ever be returning. Stupid. This was so f*****g stupid.

Author's Note

I wanted to try something a little different. When I try to write dialogue, I tend to neglect description and vice-versa. I thought writing an argument might force me to ignore how fast paced the conversation was and still include description and personal emotion. I didn't do a whole lot of editing on this piece, since I wanted to see what you'd change if you'd written it. Also, I'm fortunate enough to never have been in either of these people's shoes. If you have ever been on either end of a conversation like this, what am I neglecting? What was your prevailing emotion? Please offer some critique!

Reviews

[J. A. Lucero]

I like how you revealed the characters' personalities through their actions and each others thoughts, that really made it flow. I like the part where the dialogue is quick and Lily keeps interrupting Tim, changing the dynamic and really bringing through the emotion. I don't know if I would change anything about it, I liked the raw feeling of it. Great job.

[Kyle]

This is very powerful. I am glad to have never really been in that situation before. I think she should move on....but i know that that is not easy. So many can relate to this.

As far as the writing....you are F ing good. lol J/k

[McKenna]

Thank you both for your constructive reviews. I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

[An owl on the moon]

This was so gritty and real... a powerful glimpse into a world falling apart... I read your note and walked through the kitchen once more.. think you truly utilized the dialogue perfectly, striking with it... not slowing it with unneccesary description. A powerful scene unfolded.