Clear Place on the Floor

realization of a partier

Clear Place on the Floor

By: Rob McKee

 

It is a scary moment when I realized what was happening.

 Sinking into cushions, tv blinding me.

 The world was going on around me so I decided to stop and listen

 A deep breath passed through my lungs, not the kind of calming

 but one that helps the adrenaline pass through my veins,

 the one that prepares my muscles to revert back to when they were used for survival

 I panicked but decided not move, this simple and odd decision started my life.

 For the first time I could remember I heard, I saw, I could feel the energy of the room.

 I could feel the innocence and morals going out of the window,

 I could see people becoming who their parents had warned them about long ago,

 but most of all I could hear through the music,

 through the random chatter,

I could hear myself saying this is not what you want.

 Poisoning my body to become social and outgoing.

 Poisoning the only thing that is every really promised to me,

 to maybe get lucky with a girl that is somebody’s daughter, somebody’s sister.

 When I think back to this moment I feel a hatred.

 A pure and mighty hatred for this moment.

 Why did it take so long? Why did I let myself get consumed by something that isn’t even me?

Now I find myself sitting on a couch, oaken coffee table, feet perched upon.

 

Music is blaring but I hear no such sound.

 I am busy listening to girls,

 clear a place on the dance floor to temporarily set their morals aside to have fun.

I am stuck seeing boys that call themselves men inconspicuously kick the morals aside and away forever.

 

A deep breath passes through my lungs once more and I hear her.

 Woman among girls,

 a woman from my past.

 I sit and stare almost laughing to myself thinking “why is she here?”

 Just as I hear those words pass through my own head,

 she reaches into her purse and takes out those sought after morals.

Before she sets them down I arise from my fly on wall position and make my way across the room.

 I grab her beautiful skinny pale hand and pull her into the corner.

I look into those green eyes permeated with brown specks as if it is arising from underneath,

and speak ever so softly “No, I will not let you let these go.”

 

Almost as immediately as I finish my sentence she replies

 “That is all any woman has ever wanted to hear.”

 

I see her take a deep breath,

 eyes pulse,

 skin flushes,

 adrenaline pushed its way through her body.

 Clear as if my own mind was I saying it, I hear without her lips moving her say

 

 

 “This is now what I want.”

Author's Note

ignore grammar, first official poem.