Don't touch anything. This was great. As much as I enjoy Shakespeare, I feel ' Romeo & Juliet ' is overused. I'd like to suggest another tale with an sort of ' epic love ' but nothing comes to mind at the moment. The ending line was a great conclusion to the poem. Not too fancy but just right.
Oh thank you so much! That's a brilliant idea! And thank you for all your wonderful reviews and especially that one poem, it was so nice of you!! I feel so touched. Ill definitely fix this poem as soon as I can, only im on vacation now away from home and using my phone which makes it really hard for me to edit work. Also, I meant to send u my thanks in a message, but again I couldn't since im using my phone. But Happy Thanksgiving and thank you very much! :)
How about another lover from Shakespeare? Lothario? He was more of a seducer than a lover, so maybe it doesn't work as sweetly as the Romeo and Juliet epic love. Or how about Cyrano? His romantic poetry for his friend to quote to his love interest is a good representation of what you are trying to say.
Thank you so much for your comments and reviews!
And ya, that last line of the first stanza does throw off the rhythm a bit, you're right.
i think when I was writing it I was going to make that line the end of a poem, so it was supposed to do that . . . but ya I should probably fix that.
Thanks so much for the input!!
Another nice poem. But I think it needs some editing in the line '' we are not Romeo and Juliet yet we love''. Find a substitute that keeps the rhythmic flow continued and presents the same meaning. Excuse my fault that a person having little english knowledge giving you advices. But I think, like all other, God gives me enough sense to be touched by the beauty of rhyme and rhythm and the same fault of making mistakes in creating them.
Nay. I definitely loved every word of this piece! It is true though, everyone has their own level of specific skills that they're wonderful at, but everyone can at the same time feel true love. Brilliant piece!
“We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are MEMBERS OF THE HUMAN RACE. And the human race is filled with PASSION. And medicine, law, business, engi.. more..