Try to remember a time when you were just coming out of a difficult breakup, or rejection. There were probably lots of friends and family members that helped you through it. And, more than likely, there was one friend who experienced each and every painful moment with you...holding your hand all the while. I'll bet that many who read this will have also had the experience of having that confidant...that kind and caring soul...fall in love during the process. If you were still in love with another when it happened, it was probably difficult to sort through your feelings. That's where I find myself. I don't want to lose a wonderful opportunity with a great person...but the feelings for someone else are still so poignant and fresh. What kills me even more, is that now I feel I'm putting him in the same position he's been trying to help me overcome for several months.
My Review
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Such a difficult situation put so beautifully in your poem. Yes, I completely understand where you're coming from, and your words are perfect. They say when your love moves on, you cannot wait, you have to move on also. But how can you move on when your heart is still attached so deeply to another. Seems, somehow, a betrayal of sorts. My best advice is to be completely honest with whomever you're with, and let them decide if they want to be in that position. You are talented, and sonnets seem to be your specialty. I enjoyed this very much.
A tragically ironic scenario which is unfortunately all too real in this world of love and affection. It is told tenderly and written -as usual- with great care and skill (i think you are the prince of the sonnet - but then perhaps sonnets were made for the subject of love).
The poem flows and rhymes in a silk-textured fashion, and finishes with a telling couplet which turns the reader's perspective inside out. Suddenly, the words that came before have new meaning: the voice is not that of 'the shoulder' but that of 'the crier'..
The situation is a ghastly one, and instantly recognisable to anyone who has been either 'shoulder' or 'crier'.. At any other time time or in any other life, this would be the perfect moment - but it isn't, because this is the real world.
I only wish I had a solution to this quandry but alas, I am only a man and therefore can offer nothing but sympathy and empathy. At least I can leave you with the comforting compliment that your words are indeed good enough to to be quoted here...
"The shoulder wants the crier for its own.
They dance, but neither knows which way to go."
..The poem could be these two lines alone and speak with just as much compassion and stength of character.
Wow, I can really feel your pain and confusion through your words, as well as your love, and I feel for you. As far as the poem, I think you did an excellent job. It flows beautifully. Wonderful job on the rhyme as well. You truly have a lot of talent. As far as the situation, don't give up. Take it with caution, but don't turn a blind eye to your friend. Sometimes the "perfect person" is the one we thought was 'just a friend' because they love you so much that they're always there for you through everything. I wish I could help you more but I'm sure you can tell from some of my own poetry that love is not my forte :) Excellent work though. Keep writing. Sometimes--most of the time-- thats the best way to sort things out.
After reading the third line, I thought, it's not important whether the reader understands the text, because what is being expressed is real. and deserves
to be read more than once, what i find intriguing, the way certain forms
are used to express a specific emotion, and the creative aspect draws out
aspirations of an emotional freedom. a really great job
I know what you are wanting to say in this poem. It is good to know although you were struggling with another you were aware of what was around you. It brings to mind in another of your poems of the man walking down the road unaware of the beauty around him because he was encumbered with other thoughts of despair. It is as always beautifully presented in a manner enjoyable to any who read.
I am just a wannabe writer living in Idaho Falls. I work full time as a sales manager for a hotel.
Here's a song I recorded for a dear friend. It's a cover of one of my absolute favorites.
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