The Night the Pleasure Factory Shut Down

Capitalism finally hits the North Pole.

 

THE NIGHT THE PLEASURE FACTORY SHUT DOWN

 

The chairman of the board sat

Upon his scrollwork chair

And pondered a disheartening

Turn of events.

 

Yearly productivity had dropped off,

Drug testing had yielded disastrous

Results, halving his rather

Hyperactive staff.

 

This once lucrative industry had

Been going downhill ever since

JC Penny and Sears started making

Wishbook catalogues.

 

"Let's face it, Big Red," said his

Betassled advisor Trummer, "No one

Believes in the Company

Anymore!"

 

"The delivery team is on strike,

Demanding that you cut it

Out with that whip of yours."

Said Trummer.

 

Big Red shook his head, not wanting

To accept his advisors painful

But true words.  He sipped his

Glass of Brandy.

 

Big Red looked over the quarterly

Market analysis, which glared at

Him with the indifference all

Inanimate objects enjoy.

 

He looked over the new ideas

That his creativity team dreamed

Up to try and pep up the productivity 

Department once again.

 

But he knew that it was hopeless;

He knew it ever since corporate

Monopoly was outlawed in the

United States.

 

Big Red would never produce the

New kinds of toys that were so

Popular now throughout

The world:

 

Plastic weapons, various types of slime,

Baywatch Barbie, Doom-type video

Games; he had a stalwart sense

Of pride.

 

And so, faced with the reality that

The new high-tech corporations were

Killing his ancient business, he gave

The Order.

 

All the machines stopped,

And the workers cried, because no one

Knew if anyone (believed in) hired

Elves anymore.

 

The delivery team was relegated

To the auspices of the Teamster's Union

Who promised a hefty lawsuit for

Mistreatment.

 

They didn't even bother to try to lease

The property out because of the

Factory's rather unsuitable

Environs.

 

And so, like so many other old, much loved

companies it was dissolved in the ugly

Face of a new and increasingly

Corporate world.

 

 

That Christmas, many millions of people felt

That same loss the CEO and his helpers did

The night the pleasure factory

Shut down.