On film, in heartbreak

We all put things off, 

but there are excuses and then there 

are reasons. 

I waited to develop any trace

of your face. And asked friends for the favor. 

No one says no to the sad girl. But then I started to wonder...

why all the big fear? 

Maybe I'd imagine you'd reach out of the picture and

come back into the picture.

Grab my hair and drag me through time to my worst nightmare

that wasn't just a bad dream. Shush shush, back to sleep.

Sirens, slams and screams. All my screams. 

You, opening your mouth, shattering everything. 

So I let the Kodak gather dust on the shelf, 

between the books whose words were carrying me on their backs. 

But the mind is a muscle and she gets strong when you get time. 

Memories locked in a moment, locked in a lost thing.

And then one day there you were. Time traveling.

The Fountain of Trevi, Christmas lights, our tired mouths

bent in an upward position 

whispering through the cracks

as if to say "let me go". 

The passing wind cannot be caught.

If it blows away, don't bottle it up. 

It may have been a life out of focus,

but I've changed my lens now 

so I can say:

I forgive all the versions of you that made me smile that way.