where she belongs

she belongs in many places

regardless of what she feels

she believes she is welcome always 

and at any time

people don't wish her away

question her coming or leaving

regardless of what she feels

she believes people's opinions matter little

she feels less lonely in the arms of her mother,

and her lover

she belongs tucked under a warm comforter,

giving butterfly kisses below and 

lighting up the darkness

she belongs in a crowded church pew

weeping and worshippig

in a silent graffiti covered street corner

talking to an older barman 

while lighting a cigarette 

she belongs in the classroom and the kitchen 

even if she can't cook well and doesn't love children 

she belongs in a quiet cafe on a Saturday night

reading a ficiton novel alone 

behind fake prescription glasses and thick mascara

she belongs between the words of this poem and in the letters 

that she sends and receives from family 

she belongs as an older sister who survives from the support 

of a younger friend

she belongs on the other end of a telephone call to lend an ear and loving word

she belongs in the midnight hour of a panic attack and the sudden obscurity it brings

she belongs dancing and dreaming and drinking way too much and still waking up drunk 

cooking s****y food and eating to say she has eaten 

she knows these things don't match like her earrings or the socks or overcooked pasta 

with milk 

she thinks they should all make a little more sense

mesh together a bit more

ease into the other like an ocean wave

natural and uninterrupted

she's not sure about where she's headed 

or who she's to head with or how long until her or they 

arrive

she feels blocked and broken and unaware of the definition to the words: 

"whole"

"complete"

"safe"

she desires a more sensible rhytyhm and rhyme to the whole jive

but she belongs in SO many places 

here and there and nowhere specific

she sits still to hear clearly the sounds of her belonging...

it rings in her ears like: 

cries

kisses children's laughs and wines

friend's drunken banter

cries 

phone calls

sad songs

praise songs

rap songs

cries

matches being swiped 

candles flickering 

water boiling

cries

she belongs even while tucked between sadness and joy 

in the searching 

in the mess

in the sounds and in the silence

she knows she has always had many places to be

and that actually it is vitally important that she be in them all

more than worthy 

of belonging