slowly

 

Lines blur because I am moving so fast

With no idea where I'm going

 

Tears stream because I am thinking too hard

With a brain like a labyrinth 

 

Bones ache because I am just tired

With trying to combat all the above

 

But nothing seems to let up and

As the speed increases

I still can't see the other side to know I'll come out okay

or even come out

 

Baby thoughts turn bigger

Fold over into calzones of lies that feel true

And I am caught between the crevice where it all comes together

baked, no chance of extraction

 

The crevice where lines blur

Tears stream

And bones ache

So tired

 

But glad when I realize I am never going to have it right

So glad

When I realize that there are bigger truths which eat bigger lies

and i can extract myself from the blackness of this moment where

 

Everything feels so important      

the details

the little

tiniest things

choking me

move so fast around me

as i almost succumb to their suffocation, I think:

 

“Slow is the life I want to live

Slow are the thoughts I want to have

Slowly I want my feet to walk over

Unknown land, being pulled by a known maker

Slow is the breath I want to breathe in a place where anxiety cannot rule over me

 

slowly i want to exist in moments

with more and more breaths that release fears

and less that absorb them into the crevices

 

slowly my life will bake

before it burns