The Night

the love of the night

The Night

 

I stand in the night

ohh so bright

i love the sight

of night

 

the fear it gives one

seeing it gives them the thrust for the sun

they fear the creatures that have been done

so much wrong thats why they kill what they've won

 

i am one of those things

i drink the blood of the helpless

and terrify the careless

you may laugh and mock now

but your next on my list

 

stand watch over your doors

and graud the the floors

i am coming for you

you need to sleep with

one eye open

 

because your next!!:)

 

Reviews

[David E Navarro]

Interesting, clever idea to change the fonts, your syntax, grammar and spelling needs help. As I have noted, you will lose respect and credibility if you do not take care to use the medium of our craft, language and words, well.

I like what you do and think you would do well to take that next step to craft with care, increase credibility and publishability, and garner more readers.

[J.]

You are a Vampyre. I'm distracted by the change in the fonts. Try sticking to one, or don't make them so vastly different. Don't end any lines with ":)" because its just poor form. You changed your rhyme scheme way too much in the poem. Also you are using really weak words to end your lines. "Now" and "with" are too weak for ending words than they could be. "One" is weak on its own, but you've rhymed it within the stanza. Maybe staying consistent in your rhyme scheme. It'll make everything flow a whole lot better.

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Such a haunting piece, the intensity is immense...I love it :)

[solitar]

I love it gooooooooood job .and I like the night do you?

[Poetic Beauty]

I love this tale of a vampire coming for their prey. Sleep with one eye open all though I am not sure that it would help when battling a vampire but I love the warning that is put in place.