The Past

This is just something I wrote to help express why I sometimes feel hopeless and how I’m trying to heal.

My problems aren’t my circumstances now.
My problems are the past.
Everyday the past attacks me from every angle and attempts make a reckoning of my life.
They say that you can’t change the past. And that is true, because I can’t change the past. But the past did change me. It changed me in a way that it thinks it can hold on to me every step that I take. The past changed the way I think and feel. It tried its best to morph me into the next generation of destruction. But it didn’t, and now it’s angry.
Now it’s angry and it wants to make sure that if it can’t make me destroy, then it will destroy me. It wants to ruin me because I chose not to ruin others. This is the price I pay for walking away. This is the toll that it takes because I remember what the past has done.
The past does not condone healing and it uses its sharp claws to try and reopen any wound that dares to close
The past believes in sorrow and anguish
The past does not understand the difference between right and wrong
The past aches at the thought of day
The past expects pain
The past screams in my ears as I sleep
The past flashes in my mind when I’m awake
The past whispers to me when I’m alone
The past begs for me to return
The past is afraid
The past is afraid because it’s starting to realize that it can’t be my future.