Guilt

 

What happens if I can't find myself

in all the lies and disguises

and I'm trying to be something

that I know im not?

 

What happens to all these tears I cry

and all of these smiles reappearing

and all my pain and guilt i hide?

 

It eats my soul

to know what I did to you

and it hardens my heart

because I can't let go

 

I lay here and wonder

why did I do what I did

and wonder to myself

what the hell was I thinking

 

I guess I thought it was easy

to hurt someone I love

and to try and get rid of the guilt

I go to bed with every night

 

Hoping you forgot what I did

if it scarred you

I'm so sorry

believe me I am

I have to live through the rest of my life

knowing what I did

and knowing that it's too late

to change it

Author's Note

what do you think?

Reviews

[Clyde du Coeur]

Wow... what can I say, what an incredibly universal topic... you've really hit the nail on the head with this poem.
"I guess I thought it was easy to hurt someone I love
And to try and get rid of the guilt I go to bed with every night"
I love how you've captured the almost eternal pain that one constantly feels having betrayed their close friend or partner in some way - the guilt really eats at you inside and out. It's so easy to say "it seemed like a good idea at the time" and the devil on your shoulder silences the angel on the other with a chloroform soaked rag... yet when you discover it was a bad idea, it's always too late to rectify the situation maturely if at all.
Fantastic write - if this is a personal cry from you, I sincerely hope everything works out!! xxx

[Emmie]

This makes me wonder. What exactly did you do? Well, of course, you wouldn't tell me. I'm a stranger. But it might help the reader better understand the emotions in the poem. I liked it. Guilt is such an odd thing. Because you think you can live with it, and you can't. It always comes back to haunt you. Only, some things you can't erase. Nice job, and keep writing.