Chapter IV

PART -IV

 

Su woke up with a jerk and found herself looking at Anjali’s worried face. She convinced Anjali that she was fine but Anjali didn’t believe. Both of them started to get ready for the office. They reached office and started working after checking their mails. There were lots of calls that needed to attended and it kept them glued to their seats. Su was not even able to take her usual 15 minutes coffee break. Time flew by and it was lunch time already. Su and Anju left for the cafeteria. Anju was talking over phone with Sanjay; so Su bought the food coupons for both of them. Su was thinking about the memories that she read last night. She was so immersed in her thoughts that she didn’t notice her coupon number blinking on the screen.

           

   “Madam, what is your coupon number?”

   

Su came to her senses and found that people were staring at her. She mumbled an apology and left the counter with the food that she had ordered for herself and Anju. Anju was still talking over the phone and Su was reminded of her training days when she used to speak with Rahul over the phone for hours. She missed Rahul so much. Su wiped her tears. She had thought that leaving her past behind and leading a new life will not be painful. But she had been wrong. The pain was still there even now and it was becoming worse as days went by. She felt very jealous of the people around her who were very happy without any fear and worries.

She longed to be carefree just like them. But she has never been able to, ever since the day when she lost her innocence. She has always been with a constant fear. She had lost interest in everything until the day Rahul entered her life. He had turned her world upside down, right from the first day. He was the one who had brought genuine smile on her face after a long time and to bring back her confidence. But now, he too had left her.

 

            Su heard someone calling and found Anju waving her hand.

“Hey Su!”

“Yeah Anju! Why are u shouting?”

“I have been calling u for the last five mins? Guess u were in ur own world.”

“Oh ! Am sorry. I was just thinking and I guess that I got carried away.”

“It’s ok. Come! Let’s go”

 

Su left the cafeteria with Anju and started the work immediately.  It was more hectic than it had been in the morning. Fortunately, their day ended soon and both of them left for home, exhausted.

 

Su was very anxious about the memories that was gonna read that night. She went to the living room  and switched on the light .Wishing that it wouldn’t be distressing memories, she opened the satchel and picked a diary  with her eyes closed. She slowly opened her eyes and found that it was the year  2009

 

“                         FEB 2009                                                           1^st February,2009

Hi There!

I am so happy today. I proposed my love to Rahul today and  you know what? HE TOO LOVES ME… hehe..

Unbelievable isn’t it? But I am so happy. I am lucky to have him in my life. But one thing that still worries me, is that how will he react when I tell him about that incident in my life. I am afraid that I will leave me. I can’t hide it too. I need to tell him soon…

What? Oh u wanna know how I proposed him.? Okie .Will tell u wait…..

Well u know that I have been waiting for the right time to confess my love to him.. Yesterday ,Anupama called and told me that she was in love with Raju and even Raju loves her, And then the day before yesterday, both Arun and Sanjana called up and confessed that they were in love with each other and they just now realized it. They wanted me to be the first person  to know about it. It was as if the atmosphere was filled with love. Any conversation that I had with any of them finally ended with the topic LOVE.I couldn’t wait anymore. So I decided to call Rahul and tell him everything. It was a risk that I had to take , but I needed to get it out of my system.So I called him and this is what we spoke..

 

    ME : Hello, Rahul?

    RAHUL:  Hey Sweetie!

    ME: Are u busy, right now?

    RAHUL: No, tell me. What’s up?

    ME: ….. Listen, I need to tell u something. But don’t talk in between. Just listen to what I have got to say. Can u do that ?

    RAHUL: Of course

    ME: OK. You may be shocked or disappointed or even angry when I finish speaking….. here it goes..  I think I am in love with you.

          No  No … I  AM IN LOVE WITH YOU… I don’t know whether you feel the same way or not. But I just needed to tell you this as you r my best friend. I  don’t hide anything from u and I didn’t want to hide this too..That’s why am telling u this..

 

    RAHUL: Hey! U know what ? U were correct. I am really angry with u ..

    ME: I am so sorry …

   RAHUL : Wait. Don’t talk in between. You had ur chance to speak what ever u wanted to. Now its my turn. As I said I am angry with you. You always be the first to do  everything. Always ahead of me. Here I was, planning a romantic way to propose to you. But you just spoiled all my plans by just saying that u were in love with me like eating a piece of cake.

    ME: What ? What r u saying? I am not understanding anything..

    RAHUL: My sweetie, the brilliant gal who sometimes becomes an idiot. What I am trying to say is  I TOO AM IN LOVE WITH YOU.I LOVE U SWEETIE..

    ME: ……….OUCH……..HEHE

    RAHUL: Hey Su! What happened ?

   ME: Nothing, I just pinched myself to check whether it’s a dream or reality. IT is real… I LOVE U RAHUL.

   RAHUL: I LOVE U. But am still angry with u?

   ME: What for ?

   RAHUL: You spoiled my plans remember?

   ME: Okie. Tell u what ? Why don’t u propose to me again? Anyhow, I don’t know what ur plan was.Surprise me..

   RAHUL:Now, that’s a good idea. I am gonna sweep you off ur feet.Watch out!

   ME: ..giggle.. I am so happy. U have no idea how much tensed I was.

   RAHUL: So that’s why you were not speaking properly?

   ME: Yeah..

   RAHUL:..So now the wolf is out of the basket, I guess?

   ME: Oh yes .. Now what do we do?

   RAHUL:We celebrate.

   ME:When? Where ?

   RAHUL: Let’s see about that..

          .

          .

          .

We spoke for 5 hours on the phone.. I feel like am on top of the world .  he he  ;-)              “

 

Su smiled and turned the pages. There were more entries that had many phone conversations. Those were the happiest days of her life.

 

“                                          Feb14th,2009

   Hi There,

          The day did start wonderfully. It’s Valentine’s Day today. I gave Rahul a shirt as a gift and he gave me music CD of BSB.

          We went to citi centre for shopping. We spent the day shopping and then we watched a movie in the afternoon. In the evening,we went to restaurant for dinner. Rahul had reserved a table. The ambience of the restaurant was too good. The restaurant had been decorated beautifully. It was an amazing sight. Music was playing in the background. We had our dinner. Just as we finished the dessert, I heard the music stop and I heard Rahul’s voice. But Rahul was sitting in front of me with his mouth closed. I could still hear Rahul’s voice. I was confused. It was Rahul’s voice delivering the famous Varanam Ayiram dialogue “Hi  Malini, I am Krishnan”. But the names were changed. I was amazed. The dialogue didn’t end the same way .Rahul was professing his love through  a poem. I turned to see Rahul on his knees with a rose in his hand.As soon as the poem ended ,

  “Su, I love you so much and I wanna spend my life with only u and nobody else. Will u accept my love ?”

   I found myself nodding and I kissed him on his cheek.He was surprised but happy. I hugged him and whispered, “ I love you so much”  in his ears. When he hugged me back, I felt secure and had nothing to fear about. We left the restaurant and returned home in his car.

We stopped two blocks away from my home. Rahul took my hands in his.

   “So how was the surprise”, he asked.

   “It was wonderful and am happy that am in love with u”

   “Good to know  that u liked it. I was worried that may be u wouldn’t like it.”

   “Oh really ? “

   “Yes , I was  very much tensed as I love u so much.” Saying that he kissed my lips and without realizing what I was doing I kissed him back. I didn’t know where all the passion came from as it was very intense. When I felt his hands on my skin, I felt a jolt inside me and my mind  immediately went back to the memory of THAT day and  I saw  HIS face, the person who had taken away my innocence. I screamed and pushed Rahul away.I started crying, realizing that it was  just Rahul and not THAT man. Rahul was worried and scared that he had hurt my feelings….  “I am so sorry Su! I didn’t mean to ..I don’t know what came over me !  I  wanted just to kiss you. Please don’t hate me Su !  Am so sorry”

   I wiped my tears and told him that I was fine and that he didn’t hurt my feelings and I would never hate him and left home.

 

  Why did I remember that incident? Rahul just touched me. Why did  I remember that man’s face? Will I feel the same way every time Rahul touches me. But I love Rahul. Why does that memory has to come in my mind? Oh God ! What is this nightmare and why is it haunting me. But one thing am sure is that I need to tell Rahul soon about the incident…………”

 

Su closed the diary. There were some more entries in the diary. But Su’s heart was already heavy with the sadness and pain of not having Rahul by her side. It was almost one o clock. She decided to read the rest of the entries, the next day. So she kept  the diary back in the satchel and went to the bedroom. Su closed her eyes and started her journey in the dark alley once again.