The Hunter and the Hunted

    The Hunter and the Hunted

Sunday night, 11:00 pm,

Eden Enclave, I floor , Inside flat 3B:

It was pitch dark . Amy was sitting on the bed, with her legs folded and her arms hugging her legs. She was rocking herself back and forth. There were smudges of dried blood all over her body. She was unaware of her surrounding. She was in a trance, humming the tune of her favorite song.There was a stench forming inside, but that didnt disturb her. The memories were playing inside her mind.

It was 5 years back. It was a breezy july night. Amy was in her apartment, reading for the exam that she had the next day. Suddenly, her concentration was distracted by the sound of the telephone ringing. It was a call from the local police of the town where her sister was doing her majors.

"Hello , is it Amy Parker?"
"Yes, may i know who is calling ?"
"I am James Roger, Chief of Police of Amaga town."
"Yes sir, What can i do for u?"
"I am sorry Ma'm . Your sister has been found dead"
"What? No. U must have got the wrong girl. I even spoke to her one hour back"
"Is Sherin Parker ur sister?"
"Yes, she is"
"Then, i am sure its her. Ma'm , i know this is really a bad news and u are not able to believe it. Could u please fly down here and confirm the identification. We need ur full co-operation to find the person who murdered ur sister"
"Wait! Did u say she was murdered"
"Yes mam,It would be good if u come here as soon as possible."
Amy was in shock. She slammed the phone down, opened her wardrobe, packed and caught a bus to the airport.Stating the emergency , she got a ticket in a plane that flew to Mackos City. She was hoping that the police got the wrong girl. On arriving at Mackos city, she took a cab to Amago. She reached the Chief's office who took her to the mortuary so that she can identify. The coroner took both of them to the chamber and opened the cabinet which had the victim's body.
When Amy saw the victim's face, her world shattered. It was her sister.The tears that she had been holding back till started flowing. She was distraught. The only relative, she had was gone. She had been her twin.All her sadness turned into rage when she thought of the man who had killed her sister. The chief of police took her from the mortuary to his office. After sometime she left the office and went to a nearby hotel. she got a room for herself. The next day, the coroner gave his report. Sherin Parker, stabbed to death. After few days, Sherin Parker was buried in the town cemetery.Amy's rage didnt subside. She suppressed it and went back to her apartment. It was difficult in the beginning . But then she got immersed in her own life and fighting for her survival. Her rage subsided as days went by. She changed her appearance because every time she looked at the mirror she saw only her sister,sherin. But whenever she was not with makeup ,the resemblance was back

For a week she had been feeling that some one stalking was her. But then, she had watched a thriller movie last week . So she brushed it aside, that it was just her imaginative mind . She had been busy with the work ,so she didnt think abt it any more. On saturday night, she came home and freshened herself. When she came back into bedroom, she was grabbed from behind and a hand closed over her mouth. Fear gripped her heart. She could smell a faint trace of alcohol. The arms that was holding were rough and she could sense it was a man. He started kissing her neck while she struggled helplessly to free herself. He took her to the bath room. Holding Amy in one hand he switched on the lights. When he turned , he screamed when he saw the mirror. He let go of Amy screaming like a mad man, he dropped the knife.

"You? No it cant be u!. How is it possible" he was screaming.
Amy stood still as she was confused and scared like hell.

"I killed u sherin parker, didnt I ?. Then how is this possible. Have u come to haunt me ?".
"Did he say Sherin Parker"Amy thought

"Look at me!" She demanded. The man could not meet her eyes.

"U are the one who killed me ?"
"Yes"
"When"
"Five years back"
"Where"
"In Amago"

That was all Amy needed. Sudden rage along with the helplessness, frustration boiled inside her.

"U say u killed me. Then its time for ur punishment" . In a lightning speed , she had the knife in her hand and stabbed. The man went down with a scream. But Amy was seeing red and the blood that was gushing out increased her adrenaline rush. She continued to stab, until his body was still.

She dropped the knife and went back to bed. She was feeling content. Her sister's blood had been avenged.

Reviews

[Celeste]

This is actually a nice piece, but there are a few things that I noticed:

> You should add more feeling to the story, since everything was a bit rushed. Like, for example, in this part:
"I am sorry Ma'm . Your sister has been found dead"
"What? No. U must have got the wrong girl. I even spoke to her one hour back"
The surprise of Amy isn't felt that much; it's like she's not really surprised. So maybe you could describe more of the conversations. Like this:
"I'm sorry, ma'am." The officer said. "Your sister has been found dead."
"What?" Amy felt as if the world around her was spinning. "No, that can't be true. That's not my sister, I was just talking to her an hour ago."

> Your sentences are kind of choppy at some parts, but that's just a minor error. c: You can just revise them so they sound better. You can do that by fixing the punctuation marks and all that.

> Another thing is that you should vary your sentence structures, so that you won't sound monotonous when you tell the story.
"She dropped the knife and went back to bed. She was feeling content. Her sister's blood had been avenged."
That sentence can be further varied, like this:
"Amy dropped the knife and left the man in the bathroom, satisfied at what she had done. As she went back to bed, only one thought was ringing in her mind: Her sister's blood had been avenged."

> This is a pretty minor error, but I just wanted to point out your typos to help in your future writing, like "u" and "ur." Typing "you" and "your" isn't that hard. c:

I think that's it! All in all this was an interesting story! Great job!

Keep writing! :)