As I Try

As I try
I close my eye's and try to run away,to a place they call paradise when really I'm looking for an exit out of the dark.I hate what I have become I try to stop and make it all just go away and then it rises up higher making me drown in the darkness. As I went to bust my knuckles on the concrete once again I fall down close my eye's as I open my mouth and let out a few screams that rise in me on a daily basis,I start to hear the voices I look up and see my demons coming after me so I get up and try to run to a place I don't know if it's safe I just want to get away but I'm to weak and then they beat me down and drag me from the light into the darkness my hands leaving bloody hand streaks on the floor with a trail of blood looking like a bloody river as I am left on the ground to die and suffer in pain I close my eyes to rest my soul to sleep and go away I open my eye's I'm still starring at my reflection with my bloodshot eyes with tears falling out my eyes and then the voices and screams go off again making me shake and fall to the bathroom floor as I bury my face in my hands and close my eyes and cry out but no ones there so it's useless when really I'm just trying to make it go away.and it never leaves.