damaged goods

I breathe. I bathe. Hot water because I’m cold; so cold, alone, and afraid
Relieved that I lived. Retreat into my mind, I was told… ^{I should be thankful to be alive}
Anger. Anguish. I relinquished myself to be saved; my safe place alone in cave
I caved when they came and I lay there ashamed, tainted name as the only thing left to blame
Trade my life with yours, a picture perfect as the only thing I had left to frame
Bound to myself trying to maintain this charade; I lived because I only had myself to save
Languid language. Diminished. Down, out, and finished like I was just a game to play
So I crashed into you like a tide in hopes you would accept me that way, but instead you just waved me away
Left alone after that tirade, lonely and lame like the dirtiest stain that can’t be washed away
I looked up at the clock display, tick tock fade to gray, I watched as the clock ticked night to day
Vivid and vivacious now livid and nameless, chilled to the bone by a breeze blown to be swayed
Confused… I once again reclused into pain, repeating “please don’t rescue that which refuses to be saved”
No excuse for the fear of being afraid, I was profuse in tears sipping booze, bruised and scathed
But I didn’t need anyone else to take my pain, besides who would want something half insane
Half in strapped to the pain covered with makeup and laughs like I was only half of brave…..

So I turned to a passion and picked myself up like a maid; done with the pain like ash in tray
Because I had only known what was promised would never last and stay, a lesson costing my heart as the pay
Till you came my way and showed me I didn’t need to mask the blame, so I only can ask the same
Can you see past those facts and see me shine for you like the hope for which you’ve asked and prayed?

Because even bruised and maimed; I choose refusing to believe that anyone is branded that way
When you’re used to abuse, it’s true a personal truce is always the hardest view to take
Till you came my way and showed me that I’m no longer damaged goods on display
A misused heart never trusts the same, but mine has forgiven and is willing give in if that’s the choice you choose to make

Author's Note

a poem dedicated to the abused

Reviews

[KimLove "The Beautiful ..]

Wow, you truly took my breathe away. I am a child of abuse and you stated what we all feel very beautifully. The hardest part of all of it is learning to accept ourself for who we are and knowing there is not much we can change. But that said once we do learn it was never our fault it's just a little easier to move past all the pain.
Much Love to you
xoxoxo

[Dream Weaver]

Powerful imagery here my friend.
Not everyone lives the life of Riley,
Sometimes the abused are hidden
and sometimes society turns a blind
eye...Well done....

[Christie Moses]

This one touches deeply.....
you reached in a place thats hidden in many and brought it out to air in the open. Amazing writing S.
x

[justagal]

good poem..i know the feeling...today again....