Belief System of the Very Stressed

I kind of wish the people in my school would read this and just lay off.

 

Most people consider perfection a journey, a long and winding path that simply continues into eternity because, as we’re all taught from age two and on, NO ONE is perfect.

 

And that explanation may be enough for some people (here’s looking at you, Mom) but I need perfect. I seek it out like a hunter, fighting until I have mastered it, ignoring all the cuts, and bruises and tolls it takes on me. As if by obtaining this tiny speck of Godliness I’ll be able to right everything else in my life.

 

I don’t need a psychiatrist to tell me it’s unhealthy. The difference between me and the rest of the low-life schmucks is that I understand how worthless and pointless my personal task is, yet I do it anyway. I sacrifice an air of normalcy and health in order to comply with a belief-system that I recognize isn’t true.

 

And yet, I must believe in it. I must believe that by attempting to right myself the rest of the world will just magically come too. Because sometimes, believing in bullshit is better than not believing at all.

Reviews

[mick weller]

Hi Maya,
Your title is a great hook! it pulled me in, and now I'm left wondering why it's only sometimes that believing in bullshit is better? After all most people believe in bullshit all the time!

thought that 'it' is surplus here: 'And yet, I must believe in it.'

a very thought provoking piece. Nice.