To Be Honest

I'm missing out on everything that's good

and yet, there's so Much left

I don't want the truth

it scares me

which is probably why I spare it from Everyone else

and why the don't know me

I want to be Honest

I might try 

How would you Feel if I told you

I don't Think you'd like that

They say the truth is always better

but Why

So many things I wish i hadn't known

I need to tell you all of it

before my lungs cave in

before something scares me to death

this is Too shaky

this won't last

If you're kind I'll fall in love with you

If you're mean I won't say a word

To be honest, I wish you didn't exist

I wish I didn't exist

I wish I Disappeared 

right now

there's a Difference between This

and wanting to Die

I appreciate what this has been

really, one Hell of a ride

when it doesn't take a real good roller coaster

to make my heart go fast and

Stop

So when I'm in the ground

I hope it's a relief

Because I think I'm losing it

Whatever It is