I took my life

Understanding what it takes to live

I killed myself at the age of 35 and no one noticed.

It was not their fault, it was mine.

I moved far away, got married to a person who had mental issues and I tried to make him comfortable by cutting off my security.

I cried out for help and no one was there. I messaged my husband on hangouts and whatsapp with no reply. I messaged my sister this morning and she did not respond. I called my parents and no one was home.

I drown in a pool and left my three-year-old son alone downstairs for hours before my husband noticed.

I slit my wrist in the bathroom while all the kids were sleeping.

I threw myself down the stairs.

I went out the front door and walked to the highway. I waited for a truck to get close enough and then jumped in front of it.

I took all the pills I could find in the medicine cabinet.

I turned on my car and sat in it, with the garage door closed.

I have no one that cares for me because I did not care enough for them.

That person will never live in me again. 

Maya Storm

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad ending for many. Feel forgotten and alone. Death is their only escape. You gave many examples. I lost two brothers to suicide. Most suicides are solitary battles fought alone and lost. Thank you Maya for sharing the powerful poetry. You left a lot for the reader to think about.
Coyote

[___fyfi___]

yeah it's true when no one cares always the end is bad

[Sleepless]

A very realistic poem when you feel alone, this writing expresses raw emotions. The last part is what touches the soul the most when you read it, because it is not a good idea to have pursue that option in order to feel lightweight. Because at the end of the day, there will always be people who will care about you.

[Coffee Vampier]

That was powerful. I feel, the story I didn't just read it. Very well done.

[Tamelia Jade]

It was really bitter-sweet. It was beautifully written and a sad reality for some.
The only comment that I felt I needed to add was that on the line about going onto the high-way you have 'jumped infant' instead of 'jumped in front' and have 'I sat in my car on' instead of something like, 'I sat in my car with it running in the garage'.
Also, there wasn't a capital or a full stop on the last line.
Thank-you for sharing this.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This is some powerful work. The images are haunting.
It gave me chills.

[EvaThornburn]

How very sad this is, but a good topic to write about. Many people suffer from mental illness, but very few will admit it. They don't want to take medication because it makes them feel less of a person if they do. My ex husband took his life over 18 years ago and I'am still having to deal with it ....bad dreams and guilt have the best of me. Eva

[Leo Bojalil]

Nice, I just passed the 35 and keep rocking!!

[Simran]

its a very sadly beautiful poem.....it really touched me....
I m new to this website can u plz help me to go on for operating d things....

[Janna Nicole]

Also, your second to last line was golden. It really struck a chord with me.
"I have no one that cares for me, because I did not care enough for them."
What's sad is... Most of the time depressed people care incredibly so, they're just detached and distant. Could be for any number of reasons...
I have an obsession with quotes and that is a good one.

[Janna Nicole]

This piece is very dark but very good.
Suicide is a touchy subject that not many people like to talk about. It comes with heavy emotions and a harsh reality. All the more reason to get stories like this out there. Whether or not the reader can understand from a personal standpoint, this story is something you can't forget.
I feel like the extra details and situations you added in could really help a reader identify with your story more. At least one line in there could be enough to hit a personal note with someone. They may connect with It themselves, or it may remind them of someone they know. That could even help them get a better understanding or sense of empathy towards these feelings/situations.
Anyone who deals, or has dealt, with depression (or other mental issues) need to be understood by others to the best of their ability. Instead of being judged, ignored, or even ridiculed. And for those who don't suffer with this need to be aware... One of your closest friends or family members could be suffering, and the smallest gesture of good faith or help could make all the difference in their world. Its scary, but like your story shows, it could happen with Anyone Anywhere Anytime.
I really appreciate people that take the time to write deep, powerful pieces like this and even more so for sharing. It takes courage. It's offputting to some, but for me, I believe it's a side of life that needs to be seen.
Great work. Never censor yourself or hold back, no matter how tense the topic. You'll always have others to support and appreciate your work.