Life As The Sun

That day was exactly the third year for me to stay in S Hospital. I was struggling against my weak body. I was diagnosed with lung cancer three years ago. It was a miracle I could survive that long. I was a little late got into the hospital, that's why I was still staying in the hospital until that day. I was only 14 and I came from the southern, where I used to live with my parents in a small farm far away from the city. And my family was poor, that's why I was late to be treated.

And I got very lucky to get treatment in this hospital. It was not the cheapest hospital in the city, but it was not the best hospital in the city either. My family couldn't pay the hospital to be honest. But a generous man helped me to get in to the hospital. He was my mom's close friend. My dad told me, the guy was actually my mom's lover in highschool. But my dad let that man walked in to the famliy, to my mom, so he would help to pay the hospital. Yes, he always pay the hospital payment every month.

I was out of my bed, gazing the dark sky with not so much stars in it. The street was crowded with vehicles even at this hour. And suddenly, a young man came into my room. He was Andrew, my nurse. He always checked on my condition at late night.

"Andrew! Sheesh... you scared me!" I said. He chuckled a bit, "Sorry, Anna... I'm just doing my routine. What are you doing at this hour? You shouldn't get out of your bed, Anna! Please, you'll strain yourself." He asked me to get back to bed. I obeyed him but I was being sulky and pulled the blanket over my head.

"I'm fine, Andrew. I won't strain myself." I hid my face behind the blanket and Andrew tried to uncover my face.

"I know you won't, Anna. I just don't want to see you in more pain. It's hurting me too." He stroked my head mildly and he gave me his charming smile and I couldn't hold my smile back.

"Andrew, can you... do me a favor?" I paused, "I want to get out of here... I-I wanna feel the warm of the sun and breathe the morning air! And I-" then Andrew stopped me from my excitement. 

"No, Anna. I'm sorry... but, you know I can't. And you know you can't do that." he refused. 

"Please, Andrew! This is my last wish! At least I want to feel free and... normal." I begged to him but he didn't seem so pleased. Then he opened the blinds in my room. And sat on my bed.

"I opened the blinds so you can see the sunrise from here. Lucky you, you got the best view here. But, this is the only thing I can do." then he pointed at the sky behind a short buliding. I looked at it carefully. There was a point where the dark sky turned brighter and a glimmer of orange light appeared little by little. It was so beautiful. I couldn't remember when was the last time I enjoyed sunrise. Usually, I was still sleeping at this hour. The orange light was spreading along the horizon. And then the orange light would become yellow and you could see the black sky was getting into blue.

I was so amazed by the view, I didn't even realize that I shed my tears on my cheek. Then I whispered to Andrew, "thank you..."

My mom came to visit me. Apparently she brought a bad news with her. She told me that the generous man was found dead last night. And that guy had not pay the hospital since last month. She couldn't stop weeping for our unfortunate. And I didn't want to say a word about that. But I was curious of what would her answer be.

"So, what do you want me to do, Ma?" I asked. She was a little bit startled of such a response. She tried to answer my question.

"Well, I... I-I don't know. I... Honestly, I give up, Anna. I don't know about you, but I'm giving up! Maybe it'll be better if I take care of you from now on... in our house! Don't you always say you want to get back home soon? I'll take care of you..." she said. No. I knew she would never care that much about me. She said that because we couldn't pay the hospital.

Apparently, the hospital didn't let my mom to take me back home. It was too dangerous for me because I could no longer able to breathe the city's air. And to reach my hometown, I need to traverse the city and it would take 4 hours by bus. So, the hospital decided to keep me in and exempt my family from the payment. I was sure everyone could see how relieved my mother was.

I couldn't get to sleep again that night. My body was very tired I could barely move myself but I was not sleepy. I heard the door creaked and Andrew came up with document in his hand.

"You're still awake?" he asked and I just nodded. "Do you want me to stay? Wow, you look so pale... are you okay?" he held my hand and sat next to my bed. I just nodded again.

"I... was just thinking... about... giving up." I said. Andrew listened to me carefully. "I... saw her face... when they say... they exempt my family from the payment..." my eyes started to teary. "And... I don't think I could handle the pain anymore..." my tears fell down to my side cheek. Then Andrew wiped my tears with his hands, and smiled at me.

"You see... Even if there is a storm during the night, the sun will always rises when it's supposed to. So are you, Anna... Even if you're in a great pain, you could still awake in the morning. Just like the sun." said Andrew calmly. 

"What if... I could not... wake up?" my tears were falling again. There was a long silence in that room. Finally, Andrew answered question.

"Of course you'll wake up. You will wake up with the sun! Even if your body couldn't wake itself, your spirit would rise with the sun. Because you are the sun." he didn't seem so sure about it, I could see it, but I felt relieved. I smiled at him.

"You are right. I don't really get it... but, if I found myself not in my room, then I must be in the east with the sun, right? And I will see you open the blinds like usual... and we will look at each other until I have to go to rest..." I wiped my tears away, I could see Andrew's eyes were teary too.

"Do you know, Anna? There is a place, if I'm not mistaken, it is Indonesia. It has 12 hours of day time and 12 hours of night time. The sun rises right when the people are supposed to get up, and sets right when the people are supposed to get rest. Doesn't it sound fair to you?" he asked. 

"Yeah... it must be fun. Because... it's... fair enough." I replied. "Hey... I want to see tomorrow's sunrise with you. Make sure you'll wake me up, okay?" I asked him and he nodded. I was happy, could not wait to see the sun. Then slowly I began to close my eyes and slept soundly.

I could hear someone opened the blinds, I could barely see my mom was still sleeping on the couch. And I saw Andrew faintly. He shook my shoulder.

"Hi, Anna. The sun will rise in another 20 minutes, but I don't want you to miss a thing. So, is that okay?" he whispered in my ears, afraid to wake my mom. I just smiled. I couldn't say a word, couldn't talk. We just waited there in silence, and when it was almost there, Andrew lifted me carefully from my bed and put me near to my window. He held my shoulders to keep me from falling. And then it began. I could see the orange light started to spread on the horizon. I got too excited, I wanna feel the air so bad, so I asked Andrew to open the window for me. He was hesitating.

"Are you sure? It's dangerous."I just nodded firmly. I was ready to feel the air. Andrew opened the window and we could feel the breeze of the wind touched our skin. I breathe in the air with joy. The cold wind didn't bother me to keep inhaling the air. Andrew was happy too. But apparently the joy didn't last for long. Just aboust five or seven seconds after that, I started to collapse. I coughed badly that I woke my mom. She was freaked out finding me out of my bed with the window opened. She pushed Andrew so harsh and carried me to my bed. She stood up and slapped poor Andrew.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!?!? SHUT THE DAMN WINDOW AND LEAVE!!!" she yelled to him. I was still coughing severely, I could not catch my breath but I saw Andrew's face when he rapidly left the room. He looked pretty much... dead. Oh, poor Andrew. My mom held me so hard made it even worse, I really couldn't catch my breath.

Andrew came back with some doctors. But it was too late. The one that my mom was holding... it wasn't me. She was too busy on crying, she didn't realize that I was gone already. I could see one of the doctor checked his watch. Then my mom wailed even worst. I saw Andrew from the window. He looked up to me and smiled. My.. my... I could not not smiled him back.

He was right. I will always wake up in the morning. And we will always see each other until you and I have to rest. Well, then, here I am... living as the sun.

END

Author's Note

this is my first post.. tell me if you find this story is insteresting or not enough for you.. hope you enjoy :)

Reviews

[jj]

Great! I love how you could just sink into the piece and then never look up until it was over :)

[marie]

this is so soft and beautiful:) this is one of my favorite kinds of stories where the voice is soft and gentle but it lingers in such way that is is heavy in your very soul. i absolutely love your style!! this is an amazing write:)

[A. Amos]

This one is classic and simply epic, very beautiful concept and you portray very well.

[Wolfwind]

First off I'd like to say Good Job! There were a few typos along the way, but the idea and the plot were strong. They held an important lesson about life and death and the notion of what being one with something is truly about.
I felt sorry for Andrew in the end. The mother shouting at him like that when the person he cares about is hurting... would hurt him beyond imagination. I like how you describe his look as "dead", it certain applies to the emotion of that moment.

Thanks for sharing your ink!
Aaron - Wolfwind