Daddy's Girl

I've only ever known you, so I grew up knowing nothing else.

The sun never rises

when you're home now.

I remember the day 

you left, as you

hugged me, saying you'd

be back soon.

That day the sun shone

down on your

chocolate skin and seemed

to kiss your melanin features.

The day never comes

which bring cawing birds

who naw at the decaying

bodies of rodents and

mammals,

left by mother earth

uncared for, until they took their

last breath.

The beam of light, which shines 

into my room, tiny fibers dance 

in that light, bringing warmth

to anything it touches.

Here, the sun never rises,

though.

It never pierces through

my skin like an unwanted

lover,

never holds onto me 

tight, 

like the sea would 

hold onto your

flesh when you

dunked your head into

the water.

I remember the day

you came home.

I am an adult now,

so I'm not sure I even know

you

it's like staring in 

the face of a person

you've walked past before

a lunch lady you know,

an old man you don't,

but not being able to put your

finger on where.

So, now

when you're home, daddy,

the sun never rises.

Author's Note

A poem about how my world was dark after my father left, but by the time he came back, it didn't light back up how I thought it would.

Reviews

[Aarti Sriram]

An emotional write with a deep longing. The loss, the wait and confusion is very palpable dear @maya here. The sun never rises is such a powerful metaphor. The absence of father figure in growig up years of life especially, and the daily struggle and disconnect is imaged so well. I felt the coldnessof your past. "decaying bodies" just hits a cord deep, no child should go through this unhappy dark space. I am so glad the disovery feature suggested your poem to me. Thankyou so much for a poetry treat!

[maya_online]

Thank you so much for reading my poem !

[Twilight]

This is so genuine, moving and from the heart. Perhaps, having felt let down by him when he went away; that resentment was still in your subconscious - thus serving as a barrier against welcoming him back (with the joy which you had anticipated).? On the otherhand, had you perhaps matured so much, during his absence; that you no longer felt such need for fatherly protection.? In some lines, your metaphors are quite dark; and the symbolism is there. Somehow, part of this piece has the melancholy feel; of a bereavement? No doubt, partly your intention? Thanks for sharing. J

[maya_online]

I love poems with no hope at the end. I was going for a dark sort of feel, one you'd have at a funeral because to me my father was dead. Thank you for your reviews! I love to see them!

[Twilight]

That's good. By coincidence, a few of my own poems have a dark tone too. I have one more "read request", which you sent me; outstanding. Feel free to send me more, when you like. Bye for now, as I will soon be walking down to that birthday party event.

[maya_online]

Have fun like I said before, and thank you for going through my read requests at all, you're sweet !

[Samuel Dickens]

I think some of us need loving parents more than others, and you have conveyed very well how your father's departure affected your relationship with him in a very negative way. Parenting is probably the most important job in the world, yet it requires no training or qualifications at all. Having come from a dysfunctional, busted up family myself, I feel your displeasure.

[maya_online]

Thank you for your review, parenting must've been hard, I'm sure, but I think this poem is letting me be selfish for a second, blame it all on him, and allows me to say "I miss him, but I hate him more". Just from your review I can tell that regardless of the family you came out of, you still became a good person, and maybe thats all that matter in the end.

[cain_notfound]

Hate that I've seen this writing so late (give more read reviews, less of a hassle more of a pleasure). For one, when you said "I've only ever known you, so now, I know nothing else." and I saw you explanation of your fathers absence, that line makes so much more sense, you only knew what side he presented and nothing else, there is almost a slight hope when you call his name, now that you realize why he was gone. or the way you describe the sunlight as a real being, is the sunlight describing your mother? Maybe describing your father as well? Every line is almost lyrical, I think this is one you should send a read review to people for, it's your least popular one, but the writing is almost up there with "Valentine."

[maya_online]

Cain, hi! For one, you always understand each line I write, you weirdo, but regardless, your compliments are undeserved ! The sunlight slightly represents every person i've loved thats left 'the sun never rises" is like saying "my dad hasn't come back to his daughter, what the f**k". Basically.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

while i grew up, my parents often took long absences. i felt very happy when tey did return, though. but looking back, it's clear now that they were destined for divorce. i was too small to understand that love in my home was diminishing slowly. later it seemed so obvious.
your complex relationship with your father, and the confusion now felt was expressed so poetically. this recalcitrant issue is explored with honesty and toughness and without preaching or finding easy solutions. i hope you keep this work in your files to revisit years down the line.

[maya_online]

Ern, as always, thank you for your review. Growing up, with my mother dying young and being put into impossible predicaments, my father was all I had, so him leaving was like the final blow? I understand now, he had no money, was spending time in jail, had just a lot going on, but I was like...12, I didn't care if I saw him pass barbed wires, just to see him was the thought. Your reviews always bring me another wave of clarity, thank you, again.