Waiting For Your Return

Dedicated to someone of ages past

As I watch the sun rise and fall,

I remember what we did together through it all

You changed my life, but you drifted away, 

Leaving my shattered heart to decay.

Making the most of these diminished moments,

 hoping that this cursed time will be frozen 

For you are my love and you are my only, 

But for now, I must say, that I am lonely

For what am I to do but dance with fate

as your twinkling eyes begin to fade

My world falls and splits apart

leaving the final oath etched on my heart

The stars give me hope and shine in the sky

but I don't really want to say goodbye

The last thing I would say to you, my dear

is that I wish that you were here.

Reviews

[The Dreamer]

Beautiful !!

[Max5870]

Thanks :D

[Garu]

The imagery of the sky is beautiful: You seem to focus on that a lot, but it works. Wonderful sonnet and great job for your first attempt. I can't wait to see what you come up with later on.

[Max5870]

Thanks! :DD

[washed_up_writer]

My my, a sonnet characterized by: fourteen lines with three quatrains and a couplet (check), adjacent rhyming lines (check) and iambic pentameter (sadly no) but the pentameter is really hard to do so great poem. Who cares about the number of feet in the poem anyway?
You've used delicate imagery in your poem which is good and maybe you didn't do it intentionally but the imagery used us aerial imagery: images to do with the sky (Sun, clouds, Moon, stars and the sky itself) so consistent theme. You given the sky different aspects: The clouds took what you loved away from you but the star shine and give you hope. It's I guess a sort of paradoxical or rather oxymoronous extended metaphor.
This is a beautiful poem and and a great read

m/(*o*)m/

[Max5870]

Thanks! This is actually my first time.. I hope to improve myself :DD

[Colors]

F*****g got down

[OxygenTanks]

Amazing.

[Max5870]

Thanks! :DD