Italian sonnet

my attempt at an Italian sonnet

 

 

I devour the skin and the meat and plant the seed of the peach

The earth softly accepts and blows a sweet kiss

I turn  over my breath and belly to honor her abyss

And the bountiful mother in time will provide fruit from her breach

And the soil coughs up worms to turn the earth she has much to teach

Like a god the earth grants me a honest wish

And as the west blows and the leaves whisp

My seed is in her womb becoming the peach

 

The spring warms my velvet skin and sends me in a spin

As I gather up your pecans for the children in the trees

I chirp Mother shake your limbs for me a well mannered guest

I've planted the seed and devoured the skin with no sin

I need you to blow me a kiss just another breeze 

So she answers me with her fragrent breath from her far off west

 

Reviews

[wolfshrew]

"And the bountiful mother in time will provide fruit from her breach
And the soil coughs up worms to turn the earth she has much to teach"

That was my favorite part

I am not sure what goes into an italian sonnet, because I dont mess with that
type of stuff. But I think parts of this could make a much stronger impact and
draw more attention if you messed with the spacing a bit. Ive learned that
alot the more I write. Anyway, I enjoyed it.

[PhantomDancer]

Really interesting. Great use of language, you convey some fascinating images through your words. Like it a lot.

[A Touch of Insanity:)]

I like this! Nice write...

[Krazy On The Outside]

I really like this.
I'm not really sure what an Italian sonnet is, but I think this is a great first try.
I think you used the wrong "excepts" in the beggining, I think you meant yo use accpets, I'm not sure though . . .