Struggle

The pressure builds up......

A peaceful war between marquis,
  Spreads the bizarre scent of killing.
For the weak shall fade as debris,
And the strong shall stand in glee.
  The bloodthirsty jaws are sinking.
Heavy shoulders now in anguish.
  After a phantom have I been chasing,
Yet under the weights I collapse and languish.
  Is dawn rising?

Author's Note

Going to represent my class in the inter-class debate semifinals tomorrow. I've never debated before and I want to earn a victory for my class. Under so much pressure I have created for myself.

Reviews

[Confuser]

Kami Grace: I'm certain you did a wonderful job in debate. The poem definity defines pressure in wonderful detail; the struggle is usually within and we doubt our abilities. I love the metaphor of war with a debate, which in emotionally & philosophially in someways is definityly true. To lose would to some almost feel like a death. These words are full of depth and the pain comes forth clearly: the bloodthirsty jaws are sinking. Heavy shoulders now in anquish. Sounds like you see failure coming and are questioning your efforts. I always love your poetry. Is dawn rising? Fantastic ending. Thank you, and let me know how evrything went. Great poem. Dale

[Kami Grace]

Thank you very much for reading, Dale! I'm elated to say that we won the match and I was awarded the best speaker! I'm really grateful for your lovely and encouraging words :)

Kami

[Confuser]

Kami, I'm so HAPPY! YAY! Dancing now...Congrats. New you could do it! Y/W..

[nazia]

Oh with such a great expression you are bound to excel in the debate Kami. :)
I always actively participated in debates in school but never did I wrote such an exquisite piece. Amazing. With each word you paint such vivid and clear images. Pressure really gets the best out of you.
Good luck dear :)

[Kami Grace]

Thank you very much for the comment, nazia! It's a wonderful experience, especially the feeling when you are chosen as the best speaker! :D

Kami

[nazia]

That's wonderful Kami :D
I am so happy for you. Congratulations !!!

[Jamestown]

You have expressed pressure for sure, imagery filled and well written!
I believe you will do well for your class:)
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[Kami Grace]

Thank you very much for leaving a review, James! I did my best today and secured a win for my class :D

Kami