I am a cloud

Your whispers warm me so....

I feel you
Lying next to me
Singing sweet whispers

Waking me from this deep

slumber, and charging

my heart and soul

Your sweet kiss
nourishing the very
core of my existence.
Feeding the burning

desires fulfillment.

I was a boy floating
in an eternal
sea drifting endlessly
lost without you.

Dreaming of you

dancing in a crystal

clear blue sky

while riding the waves

of self loathing.

Gaining insight into

life and love

changing into a man

with your gentle touch

feeling
the pureness that
you offer.

I am a cloud
  in your sky, drifting

across the soft touch

of your lips and gentle

carasses across my skin.

Floating in your

crystal clear adoration. 

Raining devoution into

your life and offering

everything that I have

to be yours.

 

Author's Note

inspired by Lily Mae's "softly in the night"

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Lily-Mae/725963/

Reviews

[icelandicblue]

I enjoyed reading the gentle cadence of this poem. However, the most striking stanzas were the ones in which you speak of transformation:

I was a boy floating
in an eternal
sea drifting endlessly
lost without you.

Dreaming of you
dancing in a crystal
clear blue sky
while riding the waves
of self loathing.

Gaining insight into
life and love
changing into a man
with your gentle touch
feeling
the pureness that
you offer.

The juxtaposition of images is really effective and they cement the reader's attention. It's highly emotive and has all the trappings of a romantic poem.

[emmajoy]

Gentle words, powerful meaning .. enough to curl toes and smile lips. Superb.

[EverEmma]

This is so freakin' adorable! But I am only 13 and should not really have a boyfriend. :)

I am a cloud
in your sky.
Who will sometimes
turn the light
into shadows

Here, im not sure if you mean that you reflect back your love unto her or that although you love her a darker, more sincere side can come out and block the sun of young love.

Thank you for sharing. Its been a while since I have read something of yours. Yet, I owe so many wonderful reviews to you.

Emma

[Needy]

I really like this:)

[Robin]

human emotion painted in cloud bright upon a infinite sky

[ShaneBerry]

wow, i feel this way with my girl every time i am next to her. soo many emotions conveyed in such short amounts of time, a very very greatly crafted piece! great work!

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[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

So sweetly spun! A delight!

[BlackCl0ud]

I softer side of depressing. Calm and delightful. ~ BlackCl0ud

[quinfinn]

this is a departure from what i've seen or your work before, and it is truly beautiful and masterfully written. well done!

[light and ashes]

beautiful and sweet poem.
Nice work